Had a fight with my dad, told him some shit that i've kept bottled up inside. I don't regret…at the moment. he pisses me off.

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again NO one gets it. living in this body is worse then hell itself. just end it!

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I've been talking to my friend that I stayed with but even she's starting to get on my nerves with her 'positive' vibes and hopefulness. I can't handle that.

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also…remember when I had a falling out with three friends because they betrayed me? one of them just sent me a text tonight. I haven't read it and I don't know if i'm going to.

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I shut them out of my life for a reason, I thought I could trust them and when it cam to it, I was wrong. is it pathetic I still think of them?

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I want to leave this house I don't want to live here anymore but I have no place to go. even with my disiability it won't get me very far.

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I feel so disgusting right now, for eating, drinking, it's all so uneeded and I know better. I could go 2-3 weeks without a signle thing. now look at me.

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I need to retrain myself. I can't continue this way I need to be SKINNY not 'healthy' but skinny like i was before, where I could see and feel all my beautiful bones.

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i'm alone in this. I always have been and always will be. so I don't know why I bother trying to talk to other about it, it does nothing but make it worse.

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Tonight I will have alot to think about. not even the new episode of doctor who made me happy tonight.

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Tomorrow things are changing and I don't think i'm going to be here for very much longer.

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good night.