Sometimes I feel like such a pathetic child. I know I should be able to go to bed without my boyfriend, I’m 26 and I know that no one can get into my flat, but it terrifies me to go to bed alone!
I feel at war with myself, I can’t describe it. I want my boyfriend to go out and have fun, he works so hard and is so understanding about me and my anxiety, but at the same time I can’t stand the thought of being on my own at night. He makes me feel safe and secure, like nothing can get to me when he is around. It upsets me when he gets angry with me because he has cancelled plans so I am not on my own, but I totally understand why he gets mad. I’m scared he will pull away from me and I hate myself for it!
He is so patient with me, I don’t want to be like this, I am trying, really trying. I feel like I am fighting with myself all the time and It’s so emotionally and mentally exhausting! I’m just so tired…I just really am lost as to what to do. Sometimes I wonder if I will be this way forever, I don’t want to be, but no matter how hard I try, anxiety always wins!
hey, that’s exactly how I feel. Terrified to let the guy go but also knowing he needs a break from me and my anxiety and wishing I could just frickin be fine on my own!! Anxiety always seems to win. I know, though, that if we keep working on this, we’ll get stronger and braver. I’m here for you in your fight, Jessiie. It’s going to be okay.
Thank you so much It’s so lovely to have people who support you on here!
Hello Have you considered a pet like a dog to keep you company or a baseball bat by the bed, pepper spray etc. prayer is a huge comfort to me, Im single and have two kids. Good Luck
Thank you, I am hoping that in time I will get better at being on my own at night