i went to work tonight- 9pm till 1am : short shift which was nice. usually work on a Tue 9pm-3am & on a Sat 9pm-4am //

I usually just glass collect, i started about 2 weeks ago- & now im working behind the bar & i was so scarded the last time i tried it, but not this time! i just did it. got stuck in, enjoyed myself & actually surpised myself at how i can do somthing new. thats new things and change arent that scary.,

also its really nice having a new group of people to talk to, convosation is different, its somthing to look forward to during the week- makes work less boring and stagnent. the music at the bar is pretty jokes too. makes me dance & sing while im serving. i also talk to complete strangers at the bar, its really quite fun.

plus it means i get out of the house, my step mum cant get angry with me cos i work 2 nights a week, were as my brother only works one day a week. so  thats good. im making money!! my own money, that i can be proud of.

it means that my other friends arent always ocupying my mind, it also means they apreciate me more. also cause there are guys at my work and sometimes im the only girl for a while and i have banter with the guys which i know matt is awear of, which i like because im not trying to make him jealous at all but it means that he tries a little harder then he normally would.

still wont commit. but he does pick me up at 4am after i finish work.

i almost told him that i loved him the other day, but i stop myself. i dont want to be in a postiton were i like him more than he likes me,. i dont want to get hurt again. i dont want to be messed around.

hmmm. but on the whole things are okay atm, we see how things are going by this time next week!! ahahaha

xxx