I haven’t got a clue who I am. I just tried to socialise, try and forget everything and have fun, but now I feel like the biggest piece of shit the world has ever thrown out. I feel like a bad mark on a beautiful world and I can’t push it aside.

 

I keep feeling up and down and up and down its horrid, it’s turbulent and it’s fucking me up big style. I wish I could end it all, but I am just that pathetic I can’t do it.

 

I feel genetically, physically, emotionally, sexually fucked up, I have pulled the shortest of all straws possible and I have thrown the stupid fucking straw on the floor, so now I don’t even have that short straw to my name.

 

I feel empty, worse than empty, void, isolated, alone, boxed off, cornered off and I am sick of feeling this way and there is nothing I can do. I am sick of being screwed over by every system available, kicked back into some dirt and stepped on, I am sick of people hurting me, breaking more I me, I feel I get it back but it’s soon taken away.

 

I haven’t got the slightest clue what it feels like to be happy, because I don’t think I have ever had one fully, entirely happy day that I can remember.

 

I don’t believe I can take it anymore. I am being killed by my mind, my OWN mind that is part of me, that makes me ME!

 

I can’t think of a single thing that would make me happy. It’s just not me. When does this ride stop?

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