Don't hold strong opinions about things you don't understand.
My time has come, and so I'm gone. To a better place, far beyond. I love you all as you can see. But it's better now, because I'm free.
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.
It's hard to answer the question "what's wrong" when nothings right.
I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying.
Maybe one day it will be ok again. That's all I want. I don't care what it takes. I just want to be ok again.
When I was younger crying always seemed to be the answer. Now that I'm older crying seems to be the only option.
I guess there comes a point where you just have to stop trying because it hurts to much to hold on anymore.
You say I'm always happy, and that I'm good at what I do, but what you'll never realize is, I'm a damn good actress too.
Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
Tired of living and scared of dying.
I don't necessarily want to be happy; I just want to stop feeling miserable.
Don't fall into the trap of pretending everything's fine when you know it isn't.
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
I'm just learning how to smile, and that's not easy to do.
Sometimes it hurts more to smile in front of everyone, then to cry all alone.
I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiled the one who could brighten up your day, even if she couldn't brighten her own.
Just when I thought my life was coming together, I realized it was just starting to fall apart.
Stop the world I wanna get off.
I bleed for you that's why I cut those simple scars are just deep thoughts.
You bleed just to know your alive.
Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.
I don't know what I want in life. I don't know what I want right now. All I know is that I'm hurting so much inside that it's eating me, and one day, there won't be any of me left.
Everything that ever caused a tear to trickle down my cheek, I run away and hide from it. But now, everything is unwinding and finding its way back towards me. And I don't know what to do. I just know that pain I felt so long ago, it's hurting ten time more.
It's the loneliest feeling in the world – to find yourself standing up when everyone else is sitting down. To have everybody look at you and say "what's the matter with her?" I know what it feels like. Walking down an empty street, listening to the sound of your own footsteps. Shutters closed, blinds drawn, doors locked against you. And you aren't sure whether you're walking toward something, or if you're just walking away.
You start life with a clean slate. Then you begin to make your mark. You face decisions, make choices. You keep moving forward. But sooner or later there comes a time where you look back over where you have been and wonder who you really are.
I don't know if I'm getting better or just used to the pain.
I know it seems like I'm this strong person who can get though anything, but inside I'm fragile. I've had so many things thrown at me, and each one has only made a crack. What I'm afraid of is shattering.
Maybe I am crazy but laughing makes the pain pass by.
I love sleep. My life has this tendency to fall apart when I'm awake.
I know what its like to want to die; how it hurts to smile; how you try to fit in but you can't; how you hurt yourself on the outside; to try to kill the thing that's in the inside.
Even the people who never frown eventually breakdown.
How can you understand me when I can't understand myself?
I hate what I have become to escape what I hated being.
It's like I realized that way down inside, I've always been lonely for something. But I don't know what for. It's like everybody in the world want's something. Only they never really know exactly what it is – they just keep finding out what it's not. You know how, when you turn off the TV or you come out of some concert, and everything just feels empty? Like you thought that would be what you wanted, and then it wasn't?
You look at me and think, 'she's so happy' but there's so much behind this little smile that you will never know.
Do you ever have those times you cry and you don't know why?
People are always telling me to smile, like smiling is going to just take away all the hurt and pain. Well I've tried that I've tried hiding my sorrows and covering the sadness in smiles and what I've learned is that when it hurts this much inside your heart always has a way of showing it no matter how many masks you wear.
thebadkitty, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Forgiveness, Questions, Relationships, Sex Therapy, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, 0
I have been trying to write this entry since yesterday. I have tried a couple times, but it just...