I couldn’t help myself. My depression and sadness consumed me.

I talked to Mike yesterday (the ex from hell). He attempted to make small talk and I sort of bought into it. I gave him and his family my condolences on their recent losses and he asked if I was ok from the car accident and told me he was sorry I was going through the shit I was with my family. But it lead to other topics. He thinks he’s moving to NY, to mooch off another friend, TJ. This guy just mooches off of people. He says it’s "till he gets on his feet" but we all know… if you think LA is expensive NY is just as bad. And he’s obsessed with some internet girl over there.

I don’t know why he lies to me still. Theres no point to it. When I mention the girl he tells me they just flirt with eachother and when I mentioned the fact he tells her he loves her he says he means it like when he tells his mom he loves her. So then why tell her you love her and refer to her as your "wifey"? It makes no sense. Just the same useless drama he creates and he will hurt this girl too. Thats all he is – a succubus.

I miss my sisters like crazy. I’m so confused with life right now. I want to badly to stay in the valley, live my life as an adult and save but in this economy that just isn’t a possibility right now. Jays mom offered to let us move into their new house and I just… I don’t know. On one hand it seems as if it will solve problems for me. But at the same time it feels as if it will be another downfall for me. New job, new places… I’m so scared! I could actually go to school and work towards a better life! But It feels as if its to good to be true.

I’m just so lost right now.



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