**** THIS IS ONLY WRITTEN TO MAKE PEACE AND TO GET FEELINGS OUT. I'M WRITING THIS TO GET OBJECTIVE FEEDBACK FOR MY OWN GROWTH AND TO GAIN SUPPORT. THIS ALSO WASN'T WRITTEN TO VICTIMIZE MYSELF OR GAIN SYMPATHY! I'M NOT LIKE THAT SILLY GOOSES…GEESE…*******

 

If there is anything I hate, it's conflict, and what I hate about is I'm experiencing some here. I don't know if it's my need to please or be perfect that is making this so difficult. I feel like this being an anxiety based site, that is reasonable in chat to question people if they have anxiety if they are experiencing some common anxiety symptoms (that are consistent with panic) rather than reacting immediately with call 911. I think everyone has different support styles, but I think it's best considering that all of us have anxiety to be best as gentle and calm as possible and not reactive where you could increase or scare someone. That is just MY opinion. This of course varies form person to person.

What I don't understand is I was doing my best to provide someone with support and guidance from my own similar experience. This came from the heart and was entirely genuine. Someone disagreed with my approach and was afraid I wasn't concerned for their health and safety first and suggested that they could be dead tomorrow by asking about anxiety rather than taking into consideration (heart disease,stroke,other terminal things).

I know probably posting a blog about an argument on this site with someone isn't wise, but I have no ill will towards this person. I feel like we have clashing personalities and different ideas which is fine, but I don't want to be getting into with someone on here every time and feeling like I have to walk on eggshells because I'm afraid of someone correcting me. I want to make peace with this person without having to compromise my ideals to appease them. I've done that all my life and it's honestly getting old.

This just bothers me so much because as a sufferer with anxiety, I want to be able to supportive to others because I know how scary this is. I've been invovled in other support gorups and have recieved nothing but positive feedback by my support. Not saying I'm perfect either, but this was the first time this has happened to me. Bringing someone peace of mind is something that brings me a lot of joy, and I'd hate for that to be ruined experience here. I know the other person those are their intentions as well. We have the same common goal, but we have different approaches. Their's is fine even though they've told me mine is faulty. Can't we just agree to disagree? Thats where I'm lost. I don't want to sit around in spinning arguments with someone whom I know will not be satisfied with what I have to say. It's like trying to get a Nazi to be Communist. Not a great example it's just not going to happen.

I just hate that I'm in a place where I go to be supportive and be supported is becoming something that is causing me stress. The reason I believe this place was to create a positive,comforting, and supportive environment. I know, I am someone who is very hard on myself, so I know I can dwell on things and take them to heart, and I shouldn't. It's one person's opinion out of many people who know me. Again, this is a very sweet and caring person, they are in no way bad or mean. It's just we simply disagree. That makes things hard for me the PERFECTIONIST who wants everyone to like them and feels vulnerable and worthless when feels things go wrong.

Bleh I'm done with this long ramble. I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings in this. I tried to be as object,mature, and nice as possible. It's not my thing to go after people or try to make anyone look bad, so I hope I didn't do that.

I guess my question here is, how do you not allow yourself to take things so personally, and how to stand true to yourself even when you feel defeated?

 

**Again, I wrote this objectively, I'm not trying to get support on the situation or peoples evaluation of what happened. I'm trying to  gain support on how I can better handle confrontation without allowing it to get to me personally. Thank you :). 

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