I am breaking that relationship trauma bond right now!

When I was involved in the situation- ship, he treated me poorly more than he treated me well. I feel triggered by men who look like him on television or in real life etc.

Now, that I am not involved with him…..

I feel comfortable, am allowed to consume food without dealing with his food control issues, i laugh more, smile
more, feel more confident, feeling more authentic, less cautious (feeling brave) not scared of rejection (not walking on egg shells)
feel hopeful and free to be me!

Also, I don’t have to dread and fear his cruel, dismissive stare that was so full of contempt. I didn’t even do or say anything wrong. I was just his solution to dealing with stress in life. It was all projected onto me so he could get his anger out. He lacked the ability to regulate his own emotions and take responsibility for his choices.

I felt like a failure today because back then I wasn’t able to “fix” him even though I loved him and wanted to save him from himself.

It was never my job and never will be my job to save someone from themselves. People who want help will seek it. If they don’t want help, they will change nothing and learn nothing about improving their lives. I accept this now.

Thanks for reading!