Okay well this is a first for me so dont judge i\'ve never done a blog in my entire life but i will try to see if it may help some. Well i\'ve always felt uncomfortable with being in big crowds and reading aloud and going out by myself it was just a really uneasy gut wrenching feeling that just was\'nt right. But its gotten worse. I was recently involved in a major car accident and i broke my foot in three different places i\'ve been in my house for the last 3 months and i just stared really going places like outside and the grocery store places like that and im just really really scared to go by myself i feel like everyone is looking at me or that theirs something wrong with what i have on or my hair is messed up or i just look weird. Like the other day i took the trash out and this couple was walking past me and right away my heart began to race i began to sweat and shake and my body felt like it froze in place which made it seem like i was walking like a robot it just happens so fast and i dont know how to stop feeling that way. I also have an orientation for this school that i want to go to tomorrow and im going to be alone and i have to catch a bus with lost of people that i dont know im just so scared and nervous i really dont think i will even go tomorrow. I think about telling me sometime but i really they dont think they would understand how i felt unless they were in my shoes.Disappoint is something that i try to avoid too if i feel like im going to disappoint someone i get the same feelings. If i feel like someone is mad at me i feel the same way and its horrible really to have to feel like this because i dont think its normal but who do i tell. Someone that im really close to is so disappointed in me and im so afraid and nervous to even call sometimes and i feel like i let em down but i dont even know how. Being a failure as a person and as a spouse as sister as a daughter is just horrible no one should feel like i feel sometimes its everyday. What is their for me to do?

victoria