So I’m 14, female, and just recently I’ve actually decided to think about my sexuality. I have never had a crush on a guy, and I’ve always been kind of confused about crushes. People at school ask me, “Hey, who do you have a crush on?” And I’m like, “Uhh…no one?” The concept of crushes is, quite frankly, foreign to me. It’s always been described as liking someone, romantically. And I’ve never felt that for anyone, male, female, or others on the gender spectrum. So maybe I’m aromantic, and most probably asexual (I know I’m young, so it’s understandable, but nonetheless, the thought of sex is just unexciting).
Yet when I think about dating, the idea of dating a girl is great. Going on dates and cuddling while we watch movies and making tea and kissing each other. Am I lesbian (with thoughts like that, it’s likely.)? Am I just in love with the idea of loving a girl? (Tumblr makes it sound so great, and while I know every relationship has its problems, there are also great things about dating. The fact remains that I’ve never had a crush on a girl – though I could well attribute this to the fact that I never considered the possibility of being a lesbian until recently.)
I know I have plenty of time to figure this out, but there’s something bewildering about being unsure about my sexuality, like there’s a part of myself missing. I’ve heard that I should ask friends or family about this, but it feels weird. How do you start a conversation like that? “Hey, so, I might be a lesbian? Any thoughts?”
I know they’d all be accepting, I am lucky enough to have an LGBTQ+ friendly family, with very open-minded friends. There’s just something daunting about springing something like that at them.
I’m not posting this to make a point, to tell a story. I’m just posting this because I need somewhere to put my thoughts, somewhere where people will understand, hopefully. If you took the trouble to read my ramblings, thank you.