In this world where we run around every day keep hustling through all we need to do and by the time we blink the day is done when we or rather when i pause to reflect ? i often dont like what my brain comes up with. Wheever my brasin starts to talk to me it brings up stuff I just dont want to or know how to deal with.

Today oh joy of joys (oh feel the sarcasim here) i saw my therapist. I finally got myself back into going to see someone officially cause i realised i was slipping more and more and closer and closer to the edge. And though some days i feel like i should i dont belive i shoudl fall off the edge.

The weird thing is I find it so hard to talk to them. i dont know why? well maybe i do. its hard to talk about yourself to people. to say your private thoughts and feelings and pains and hurts and about how oyu view yoursaelf and about what you want out of life. these things you never really honestly tell another. Your inside Inside thoughts. so i find myself lying , or avoiding painful areas. the biggest issue is that i find it hard to believe that this person is really gona give me a way to deal with these probelms. if they did would that make it easier or is that just another mental sheild i have in place? I’m not sure. All if ifgue is to keep going , dont give up and see what happens.

Wish meluck tribers; and good luck to you all. wish i knew if i was theonly one.