I finally got diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and now no one wants to help me do anything about it. They wouldn't diagnose me at first, because as I'm so young they didn't want to "label" me. But not doing it has had me suffering worse than any "labeling" could ever do. And my family doesn't care. Hell, they just want me to grow up and deal with it. Put my "big girl panties" on, as it's been said. But I can't. I don't know what to do and I need their help. But no one is willing to even try to listen to what I have to say about what I need.

My friends and DT are all I have, pretty much. I'm really grateful for that, at least. But even so, it can't stop me from getting depressed easily, or get over my social phobia and stop being so anxious all the time. My friend came over today, and I was so happy to see him I could barely think of anything to say. While he was there, I was in the clear, right-minded and sane, completely happy. But he, obviously, had to leave. I can't depend on people to keep me happy as much as I've been doing. What'll I do if they leave me? I would prabably end up trying to kill myself. I don't know what to do.

I can't tell if I'll be okay; I want to be, but I don't know. I can't even tell what I'm feeling half the time. I'm lonely, confused, hurting, and scared. What's a teenager to do without help? But the only people who could possibly help me have lives of their own, I don't know them, or they're half a world away (or might as well be). I have two paths that I can see; suicide, or live like this forever. Honestly, the first sounds more appealing.


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