1. My mom in law died about 3 weeks ago.

2. My uncle died about 22 years and 5 days after my dad died.

3. Who is next? Me?

My uncle died yesterday, and I wasn't there to take the phone call. I get so wrapped up in my own crap that I forget there are others out there going through the same hell.

The saying that "God doesn't give you more that you can handle" all seems a little too bunk for me. God I trust you but come on now!!! How much more are you going to give me? How much taking away am I going to have to take?

I am not a lost cause! However why do I feel like everyone is wasting their time and energy on me? God please change this, remove the past, and change the present, so that I can have a future!

Lord, hold my Uncle in your hands and take away all his pain and suffering. Allow him to be with grandma, grandpa, and if dad is there him too. Hold them all close and if you can have them come visit me tonight in my dreams and give me directions, I’d appreciate it.

I am so lost. I don't know what to do or where to go. Lord I don't want to to take my own life but I feel closer than ever to doing so. God I need you so much.

I went into the hospital to get better, and I believe if my uncle hadn't died I would have stayed and probably gotten better, but that is not the case and this is not the case and so I don't know what is going to happen.

 

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