Gawd. I think i might be starting to hate my mom. i know its worng to hate, dislike is better, but i dont know how long i can pretend anymore.

So, im on facebook, and she messages me "how are you." and of course, before i answer, she talks about herself. Apparently she online dates, for only her town. She's been on dates everyday for the past two weeks and has three dates on thursday. Wow, first off, what kind of mom tells her daughter that?! I dont need to know. And she plans on coming back "home" for good on June 15. then why is she dating? what if she finds someone? Does she stay then? She's worse than a 15yr old girl. She's actully a tease, or even a whore… I feel awful for saying that about my mom, but she really is. She trully is.

All day, everyone has been talking about the last day of school, which happens to be June 15… All day ive been reminded of her, and there's no councling. I fought tears all day long, while i listen to kids talking about our preformances coming up and all day i hear "my mom…" "my mom's getting me flowers!" "my mom says im the best singer!" all kinds of junk. I just sit there knowing that as soon as i see my mom she's going to commet on my weight. Ive gaing 15 pounds since i heard she was coming, about a month and a half ago. 15!!! My dad says im where i should be, but i dont think so. Ive been exercising tons, and have actully gained weight…. Cant wait to hear "maybe you should try my diet with me… Just so i have more support" as she looks me up and down… I cant stand her anymore.

Oh, and  i was wondering if anyone new about whats worng with me. All day, ive been really stressed, ate little, did tons of exercise, and have been fighting tears. I think it's dehydration, but i just ate an hour ago, and have had tons to drink. I have this awful pain in my stomach. It actully feels like somethings trying to rip through my skin. It's like i can feel all of my muscles rushing to one spot on my stomach… Im sure it's not cramps:) i know that feeling. 🙂

10 Comments
  1. fschubart 11 years ago

     It's probably stress and your body's way of telling you it's breaking down. You need to take it easier or it will probably get worse. Is there anything that you can do to take your mind off of things? I know it's easier said than done, but if you don't do something to take care of yourself mentally and emotionally, it could result in a full blown breakdown. Have you tried talking to a friend? Or maybe an anonymous person online to try to deal with these things. Just a thought. 

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  2. Kazey 11 years ago

    fschubart,

    Thanks for the help. I wasn't totaly sure what was going on, and today my whole body felt that way. I dont have much to stress relieve anymore, i lost intrest in most of my activites a while ago….  My friends couldn't care less, but i have a great friend on DT (vv) who has helped me alot. Do you know any stress relievers?

    Thanks,

    Kazey

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  3. Kazey 11 years ago

    fschubart,

    Thanks for the help. I wasn't totaly sure what was going on, and today my whole body felt that way. I dont have much to stress relieve anymore, i lost intrest in most of my activites a while ago….  My friends couldn't care less, but i have a great friend on DT (vv) who has helped me alot. Do you know any stress relievers?

    Thanks,

    Kazey

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    0 kudos
  4. Kazey 11 years ago

    fschubart,

    Thanks for the help. I wasn't totaly sure what was going on, and today my whole body felt that way. I dont have much to stress relieve anymore, i lost intrest in most of my activites a while ago….  My friends couldn't care less, but i have a great friend on DT (vv) who has helped me alot. Do you know any stress relievers?

    Thanks,

    Kazey

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    0 kudos
  5. Kazey 11 years ago

    fschubart,

    Thanks for the help. I wasn't totaly sure what was going on, and today my whole body felt that way. I dont have much to stress relieve anymore, i lost intrest in most of my activites a while ago….  My friends couldn't care less, but i have a great friend on DT (vv) who has helped me alot. Do you know any stress relievers?

    Thanks,

    Kazey

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    0 kudos
  6. Kazey 11 years ago

    fschubart,

    Thanks for the help. I wasn't totaly sure what was going on, and today my whole body felt that way. I dont have much to stress relieve anymore, i lost intrest in most of my activites a while ago….  My friends couldn't care less, but i have a great friend on DT (vv) who has helped me alot. Do you know any stress relievers?

    Thanks,

    Kazey

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    0 kudos
  7. Kazey 11 years ago

    fschubart,

    Thanks for the help. I wasn't totaly sure what was going on, and today my whole body felt that way. I dont have much to stress relieve anymore, i lost intrest in most of my activites a while ago….  My friends couldn't care less, but i have a great friend on DT (vv) who has helped me alot. Do you know any stress relievers?

    Thanks,

    Kazey

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    0 kudos
  8. Kazey 11 years ago

    fschubart,

    Thanks for the help. I wasn't totaly sure what was going on, and today my whole body felt that way. I dont have much to stress relieve anymore, i lost intrest in most of my activites a while ago….  My friends couldn't care less, but i have a great friend on DT (vv) who has helped me alot. Do you know any stress relievers?

    Thanks,

    Kazey

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    0 kudos
  9. Kazey 11 years ago

    fschubart,

    Thanks for the help. I wasn't totaly sure what was going on, and today my whole body felt that way. I dont have much to stress relieve anymore, i lost intrest in most of my activites a while ago….  My friends couldn't care less, but i have a great friend on DT (vv) who has helped me alot. Do you know any stress relievers?

    Thanks,

    Kazey

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    0 kudos
  10. Kazey 11 years ago

    Lost,

    She's driving me crazy.  I only drank juice, but tons of it… I know i should drink water, but i just dont…. There's tons of stress at school, with friends and work. I know they're excited, but it just keeps remining me… I talked to my dad, and there's only so much he can do.. All he can say now is that we have to wait until she comes and he will support me.  I wanted to talk to her, but there's a sign that says "no councling" i almost went in there crying, that would've been embarrising.. I keep thinking to email her, but im not surewhat to say without sounding rude, or being a burden on her…

    Thanks so much,

    Love you too,

    Kazey

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