Gawd. I think i might be starting to hate my mom. i know its worng to hate, dislike is better, but i dont know how long i can pretend anymore.
So, im on facebook, and she messages me "how are you." and of course, before i answer, she talks about herself. Apparently she online dates, for only her town. She's been on dates everyday for the past two weeks and has three dates on thursday. Wow, first off, what kind of mom tells her daughter that?! I dont need to know. And she plans on coming back "home" for good on June 15. then why is she dating? what if she finds someone? Does she stay then? She's worse than a 15yr old girl. She's actully a tease, or even a whore… I feel awful for saying that about my mom, but she really is. She trully is.
All day, everyone has been talking about the last day of school, which happens to be June 15… All day ive been reminded of her, and there's no councling. I fought tears all day long, while i listen to kids talking about our preformances coming up and all day i hear "my mom…" "my mom's getting me flowers!" "my mom says im the best singer!" all kinds of junk. I just sit there knowing that as soon as i see my mom she's going to commet on my weight. Ive gaing 15 pounds since i heard she was coming, about a month and a half ago. 15!!! My dad says im where i should be, but i dont think so. Ive been exercising tons, and have actully gained weight…. Cant wait to hear "maybe you should try my diet with me… Just so i have more support" as she looks me up and down… I cant stand her anymore.
Oh, and i was wondering if anyone new about whats worng with me. All day, ive been really stressed, ate little, did tons of exercise, and have been fighting tears. I think it's dehydration, but i just ate an hour ago, and have had tons to drink. I have this awful pain in my stomach. It actully feels like somethings trying to rip through my skin. It's like i can feel all of my muscles rushing to one spot on my stomach… Im sure it's not cramps:) i know that feeling. 🙂