London   Times Obituary
 
of the late Mr. Common Sense 


'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
 
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He
 
will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the
worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
rn 
 
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
 
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
 
charge).
 
His health began to  deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
 
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
 
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
 
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
 
 
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
 
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
 
children.
 
 
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but
 
could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
 
have an abortion.
 
 
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
 
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you
 
couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar
 
could sue you for assault.
 
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
 
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
 
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; along with his daughter and son, Responsibility and Reason. He
 
is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now,
 
Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
 
 
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If
 
you still remember him, pass this on.

 

WISH I'D SAID ALL THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

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