Mood swings ahoy! Lucky me. (Warning: lots of emotion clouding judgment ahead)

So once again, I find myself neck deep in despair and disillusionment, with no light at the end of my tunnel. Reason? Lots of things, let's take a look at some of it:

1. I keep remembering instances where I had the misfortune to run into unworthy disgraces to the human race – i.e. people who broke practically every ethical code of morals. I've mentioned this to a few friends on occasion and they often give off the seemingly sound advice of: "Well, think about your current friends".

Pretty much all of my current friends are people who suffer in one way or the other because they too had run-ins with what I call "people unworthy of Life". When I think of my friends, I often end up thinking about how it's unfair that such nice people have to suffer, while the jerks who made them suffer keep getting away with it, which in turn makes me livid with rage and make me fantasize about gouging out their eyes or mutilating them in other gruesome ways, because when I'm in this mood, I feel they'll just get off too easily if they're not subjected to horrid mutilation, that would ensure the elimination of the threat they represent.

So no, thinking about my current friends won't work either, unless I can keep my thoughts focused on nice things said friends said to me or situations where I made them smile – but that's easier said than done.

2. Current state of Society. Lots of corruption, lots of lies and hordes of gullible fools who believe in al those lies because they're both too stupid and too lazy to doubt the Politicians. End result: lots of innocent people end up suffering, while a lot of jerks reap all the benefits.

"Think of something else," I tell myself. What would that be? Everything reminds me of Society these days. It seems that no matter where I try to hide, I keep getting dragged kicking and screaming back into reality.

3. Ridiculous social norms. Society teaches us that Men must be strong, confident and "alpha males", while it teaches Women that they must be "Awww sooo pretty" ("Pretty" meaning: "looking-like-a-super-model-sex-object-thingie"). This immediately screams "gender inequality" to me – heck, just the damned dress code screams "gender inequality" to me. Result: A lot of people are miserable and unhappy with who they are for no other reason than society "claiming" they're not good enough, because society is demanding the impossible and unfeasible.

Society further teaches us to bottle up our emotions – someone asks you how you're doing, you're "required" by the "rules" to communicate back that "Everything's fine", regardless how miserable you're feeling. What kind of retarded rules are those disgusting excuses for rules!? Result: a lot of miserable people commit suicide or end up socially isolated because they're not able to communicate to other people that they need help.

And finally, society teaches you that unless you're "better and more successful than anyone else", you are NOT cool. Result: A lot of people waste their lives constantly striving to get better jobs, pursue time consuming and demanding careers that leave them no time to be with their families and friends, further resulting in dysfunctional families that would otherwise have worked really well under less stressful circumstances.

One look at those "social norms" tells me they're useless. The only reason people follow these rules is because they're either stupid pack animals or because they're being held down with the threat of social persecution by aforementioned "stupid pack animals". It takes me about one glance at these "rules" to figure out that they were most likely designed and written by people who were devoid of a conscience, who wrote these rules specifically to cause as much misery and pain as possible. Not only is their plan working, but they're probably getting away with it too…

I've often been told that life is a wonderful gift that I should cherish and appreciate. Sure, I'd cherish and appreciate it if THEY would let me, but they won't!

Do me a favour and do not try to imply that it is my own fault that I cannot be happy, because facts and experience tell me that it's not. I did not choose my own personality, I did not choose to have these things happen to me and I most certainly did not choose to be reminded of all the misery. I've done everything one could conceivably expect a person of my personality, intelligence, knowledge AND constitution to try and escape reminders of misery to no avail.

<End of Rant>