So…I hope everyone else had a nice Sunday yesterday…At first mine started alright, But that quickly changed.

Dad got his gifts and his cards, all was nice for awhile. In the end I still had to go to that \'4 rivers\' place, I simply got the salad bar, I put alittle on my plate and instead of eating it I snuck it into a napkin I was holding under the table.

Whenever anyone was looking at me though, I took a small bite and by the end of the meal, before we left I went to the bathroom and purged it all back up…Watching everyone eating all that meat and unhealthy sides yet they\'re able to be so ******** skinny…

It only added to my anxiety and the force behind me ED\'S…Ugh I just hate thinking about it. Don\'t even get me started on the desert, We got him his favorite kind of cake, they padded a piece to me, and while they were in the other room, I just smashed it into the plate and threw it away.

Then, problems started. I don\'t know WHAT happened but things got tense again between mom and dad, soon they got into a fight (though not as big as usual) and so he went to his room and slammed the door, Mom went to her room.

Though i\'m not surprised, There\'s not one holiday my family can celebrate without SOMETHING going wrong in some way or another, So…Idk why we even try anymore, I rather just give it up then put up this charade.

and to simply get away from the drama, SO DID I. though I didn\'t slam any doors…I just watched law & Order SVU with my dogs, but I also ******** up and cut on my thighs again.

Kim and Maddie got back from Metrocon as well, I saw the picture they took and it looks like they had so much fun…I know if I would\'ve gone that would have been a downer and ruined everyone\'s time.

It\'s best that I didn\'t go, But not Maddie and Kim want to do something with me (like go to the beach w/them for a few days or universal…) idk if i can handle that though, but I want to be with them, I do it\'s just I don\'t want to ruin their times.

Ugh, I guess that\'s it for now…There was something else I wanted to mention but I can\'t bring myself to talk about it yet, Maybe in my nest entry.

Well…Hope everyone else is okay…Talk to you later I guess

2 Comments
  1. Mo 9 years ago

    I\'m sorry you had a very rough day…(((SBL))))

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  2. edan1970 9 years ago

    so sorry you are struggling hon.. I am struggling myself at the moment so i know the dread you are suffering..i wish i could wave a magic wond and make your life magical as it should be………… i had tears in my eyes reading that you cut your thigh i so wish you didn\'t do that!!! always here if you need to talk hon always

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