Went running earlier today….now, this in and of itself, is, of course, not a bad thing…After all, we all have heard the health benefits of exercising, blah, blah, blah, so it is good in that regard….and it is also good for me on another level: I was so done in with severe deression and enxiety issues the past three years, that the thought of getting out even to as so much go for a walk was unthinkable…so…if I'm out running, it's a good thing for me in that regard….but what's not good?….It was over a hundred degrees outside when I ran….not considered safe weather for running….maybe it's okay if u just do it for a few minutes on a day like this, but I ran for more than a few minutes….so it makes me wonder….yeah, it's POSSIBLE that I've been doing better lately overall, these last few months in particular…….getting out more, not laying in bed all day waiting for the world to crumble like I spent doing for days on end during the worst of the Dark Days(started approx May '09)…so all that is progress I suppose….but….there are anxiety-proviking situations looming on the horizon…and if they don't work out the right way, there is fear that it could lead me on a path back to severe depression….When I do things like go running in this kind of weather, is it because deep down, I have the fears that things still are far from great and that there is the potential for them to get really bad again?…And…by unwisely running in this weather…..am I deep down saying "let's do ill-advised things that could endanger my health and whatever happens happens…"? I hate to say it, but I think I pretty much had a "death wish" when things were at their worst. Even though things are allegedly "better", I'm wondering if I subconciously still do.
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My Dad
MissGingie, , Depression, Addiction, Anger, Anxiety, Child, Grief, Parenting, Relationships, Weight Loss, 3
My dad passed away February 7th, 2010 at 8:50 am. It was SuperBowl Sunday, there was snow on the...
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In the past month…
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I looked back and realized the last blog I managed to complete and post was on February 2nd. I...
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I was told by my therapist to blog about my life. He feels that I have been through alot...
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So confused and upset right now. I am on good terms with K, but I feel miserable. I used...
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Downward slope
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I went to the store with my mother and one comment–negative of course–from her made my mood plummet. I...
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The Past
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It seems like some of my problems stem right from childhood. A problem of concentration. I always had problems...
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Victim: A poem about sexual assualt
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For the days you feel more victim than survivor. This is not just a number poem. This is a...
I wouldn’t think that you do based solely on running in that type of weather. You can exercise in the high heat without much harm as long as you are staying properly hydrated. I would lean more toward a high desire to prevent yourself from slipping back into the Dark Days to be honest. That is just my opinion though.