i am really annoyed with the doctor at the new surgery me and my children have just joined due to moving home..

i ran out of tablets yesterday so had to get an appointment with the doc yesterday cos they do not yet have my medical records to see what meds i am on….. so i went to see the doc he asked me what meds i was on so i told him, fluoxetine for the anxiety and depression, propranalol for the anxiety, he said right well i'm not willing to give you the fluoxetine we will have to change that to citalopram. i said that i had been on that along with the fact that i have also been on venlaflaxine and dosulepin and they have all made me really ill…. so he said well its tough, you have to help yourself as well as the meds…

to top it off the chemist wasnt open, so last night had no meds what so ever, so feel that bad this morning that i dont want to go out so the kids havent gone to school.

i cant get over the fact of what the doc said to me, he doesnt even know what i have been through, he doesnt even know how much of a long way i have come compared to how i was 2 year ago…. i mean how can he, he hasnt even got my medical notes…

my anxiety and depression started 2 year ago in the october, then i lost my little boy in the december so that reaslly tipped me over the edge. i was reallly ill, my partner had to do everything for me and my kids…i couldnt go out, i had agrophobia, i could hardly lift myself of the couch, couldnt sleep, i felt like i was having some kind of nervous breakdown…

so how can the doc say that i have to help myself now, now i'm a single mum, i take care of my kids myself, i'm the one that takes them to school. i'm the one that has to go out and get the shopping. i have to take control of everything.

now i am so paranoid, what am i going to do if when i take these meds tonight it puts me back at the beginning… i mean even if i dont take any meds it will prob send me right back to the begging again…

has anybody been through the same kind of thing, cos i could really do with some kind of help and support…..

thanx for taking the time to read this, sorry if i have gone on a little to much…

all the best to everybody who reads

thanx again borland. xxxxx (ali)