Remember that time in your life where you knew it was time to confess to your parents/grandparents on things that you've done, big or small or when you got cought doing something you really shouldn't be doing.

Well with my other grandparents coming into the picture they missed out on all of that with me. I guess my confession were not punished, which was good like when I started smoking, my friend at the time kept buggin me to just tell my mum and that she wouldn't care cause she smoked and blah blah blah I was still scared and refused with all my might to tell her, untill one day he just randomly walked up to her and said "kaz, do you mind if your daughter smokes?" I was about to die, I was shittin myself and you know what we got in return… "I was waiting for it" thats it!!!! nothing more to it. Then it was time for the grandparents to find out… heres how that one went… Me n mum were staying at my uncles with his wife, we were all out the back and I really wanted a smoke mum just said here have it, infront of my uncle (mums brother) he just laughed then a few months later every one was having a family lunch at my grandparents and while eating lunch my uncle blurts out my little secret COMPLETELY MORTIFYING and grandma says "yeah I know" im like what! how?! then she went on saying that she could smell it on my breath n stuff.

Then came tattoos… I knew mum wouldnt really care cause she has many but, mum took me to get my first a few days before my 18th, which resulted in… My very first panic attack it was horrible, then a year later a grew some balls and decided it was time to just do it which AGAIN resulted in another panic attack lol but this time, they guy that was doing it was wonderfull and refused to let me leave with out a tattoo, I went into shock, cold sweats, faint, I just wanted to die, and still he wouldnt let me leave so after an hour of saying I cant do this, I want my mum, I wanna go home now!!! I finally told him to just do it, I DID IT i walked out with a tattoo like the man said , funny thing was, getting that tattoo hurt more than… 1. being hit by a car and breaking my leg and 2. slicing my leg open on a stick. Anyway, no one knew I grew balls and went and got a tattoo, so when mum came home from work a few days later, I just whipped my arm out and showed her, she was shocked probably more in the fact that I actually did it this time. and telling my pop, I was so thrilled I couldnt wait to tell him I called him the night i got it and im like "guess what I just got" response… "a job?" (i had a bit of a ditzy moment in my excitement) "no much more better, a tattoo!!!" lol i get "oh god!" lol But I think because mum did everything first the grandparents were desensitized when it came to me, like we get treated more like sisters than mother and daughter with a 20yr age gap, even our doctor still asumes we are sisters… ONLY cause mum doesn't correct her some times lol *rolls eyes*

So to my problem kinda, Im gonna have to go through all that again but this time with very uptight rigid people and remembering to how they reacted to mainly my uncle (youngest of the 4 kids and only 10yrs or so older than me) when he did al those things, does not make it seem easy to do so, like when he smoked for a bit my nanna made him smoke the whole packet one after the other till he through up then when he came home with tattoos…. ooooooo all hell broke loose, everytime he got a new one and then… he got his head tattooed, cause he had a mohawk at the time, he got two flames on each side of his skull lmao, that one they weren't happy about cause you could see them, and mine is out in the open its on my fore arm.

Makes it all abit scary for me.

Oh note to fellow ausies… just tried easy off bam… MIRICLE i went on a light switch cleaning spree that stuff works wonders, made cleaning fun for about 10 minutes, try some lol

Also if you've made it this far, Im sorry about my long blogs, I  just cant tell a story with out including every detail. 😀



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