Warning ⚠️ This talks about my eating habits if you’re sensitive towards this subject do not read.
So most of us here are depressed, right? Right, so eating comes with its challenges sometimes. Usually, when I don’t eat I say to people ” I forgot to eat” or ” I wasn’t hungry” which is actually true like I’m not kidding. Yeah, there are some factors that play a role in it like I’m so depressed that day I just stayed in bed so I didn’t eat, but I’m literally not hungry and some days I think about eating but then it’s like ” oh yeah I was supposed to eat that” and I didn’t because I forgot to eat completely. Therapists say that when you ‘ forget to eat’ or ‘ you were not hungry’ it’s because you’re depressed ( I read articles on it aye don’t judge me) and I didn’t figure that out till I started therapy I was so confused because I was like, in my head, ” no, I don’t think she heard me I’m literally not hungry ” then sometimes I have those days where I don’t eat for 2 whole days I just drink water. One time I got so dizzy and felt like I was going to pass out because I didn’t eat for those 2 days, but that second day I forced myself to eat 2 peanut butter sandwiches then I starved myself again, why? Because I forgot to eat and I wasn’t hungry.
Lately, now things have been the opposite I’ve figured out how to at least eat two meals a day, but now it feels like I’m eating too much. I went from 138 pounds to 155 pounds in a month I’m trying to lose the weight again so I can actually look at my body in the mirror, but it’s been hard to I just can not stop eating. Sometimes I even emotional eat, see in the beginning it was not like that in the beginning I would cry myself to sleep, and now it’s like I cry myself into eating after I cry I randomly get hungry maybe I’m coming on with a food addiction probably something I should let my therapist know. I noticed also that this blog today was not light at all I even thought in the middle of typing my last paragraph to put a warning out there crazy right? How one day you can be joking about your ” mental disability” and the next you’re struggling with it.