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Feeling so empty inside! Either I have no emotions at all or I am about to cry when someone says hello to me . I want to be in control of when I cry & when I don't their are some places crying will just make things worse on me so I try to hold it in but lately it is becoming harder & harder to control . I hate when people feel sorry for me that is 1 of the worst feelings for me! I want people to care just not say oh u have it so rough…it really doesn't help me out at all. And I definitely don't need just pray more as if I am an awful person who never prays which just isn't true I pray lots of times throughout the day! Back to the feeling empty part I don't recognize this person I have become it is Not me at All & I am beginning to Not like it 1 little bit…it is the damn anxiety doing this to me!!! It has turned me into a person I don't know,someone who is scared of the dark,being outside,being alone with my father,going to sleep,waking up,going out in public, & jumping at every little noise even my own heater clicking . I don't want to be afraid of every little thing…that is who my mom is & it feels like she is winning when I am scared but I know truthfully it isn't her wearing me down it is because of all the stress,pressure,trauma, etc in my life!!!! I can be so so numb at times the most horrible of words throw at me don't even phase me 1 bit but at other times they hit their mark oh so well & the pain they cause seems enough to kill me right there! I want control of my own life back!!!!!!! I don't want to be on a path chosen by others or my anxiety…I want to be who I want & am meant to be! Does anyone else feel really numb at times? Not in a physical sense I get that as well but I mean on the inside like u feel u aren't even a human being anymore!?! I sit down to write & feel like I can't get the right words out to express the way I feel that will allow others to understand what I mean .

2 Comments
  1. cloftis86 9 years ago

    I think feeling empty inside is one of the side effects of anxiety. I have went through periods where I felt empty. It\'s horrible. But with the right help, it will go away. Are you in therapy or anything? I hope you get better soon. I know how bad it sucks. Trust me, your not alone!

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  2. yorkielover 9 years ago

    I have seen my Dr many many times & tried pretty much all the anxiety medication & none of it worked for me most of it made me worse :(. Right now I take a heart pill everyday because I have a fast heart beat constantly & my Dr just increased my Effexor up to 200 mg a day for my O.C.D but neither of those help with the anxiety. Today is my Dr\'s day off but I may call tomorrow & insist he give me something else because I can\'t take this anymore it is so so through the roof…I am not even focusing on 1 day at a time it is like the next 5 minutes at a time!!! I am in therapy & right now my therapist is working on getting me into some programs to help with some of the things that are going on I have a very stressful, non supportive home life along with a lot of other challenges. But my parents are currently paying for my therapy due to medical problems I am not working so they are being cruel & always threatening to take my therapy away as a means to control me!!! Looking into medical assistance to gain some control back…hope it works out it is my last hope right now.

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