Feeling so empty inside! Either I have no emotions at all or I am about to cry when someone says hello to me . I want to be in control of when I cry & when I don't their are some places crying will just make things worse on me so I try to hold it in but lately it is becoming harder & harder to control . I hate when people feel sorry for me that is 1 of the worst feelings for me! I want people to care just not say oh u have it so rough…it really doesn't help me out at all. And I definitely don't need just pray more as if I am an awful person who never prays which just isn't true I pray lots of times throughout the day! Back to the feeling empty part I don't recognize this person I have become it is Not me at All & I am beginning to Not like it 1 little bit…it is the damn anxiety doing this to me!!! It has turned me into a person I don't know,someone who is scared of the dark,being outside,being alone with my father,going to sleep,waking up,going out in public, & jumping at every little noise even my own heater clicking . I don't want to be afraid of every little thing…that is who my mom is & it feels like she is winning when I am scared but I know truthfully it isn't her wearing me down it is because of all the stress,pressure,trauma, etc in my life!!!! I can be so so numb at times the most horrible of words throw at me don't even phase me 1 bit but at other times they hit their mark oh so well & the pain they cause seems enough to kill me right there! I want control of my own life back!!!!!!! I don't want to be on a path chosen by others or my anxiety…I want to be who I want & am meant to be! Does anyone else feel really numb at times? Not in a physical sense I get that as well but I mean on the inside like u feel u aren't even a human being anymore!?! I sit down to write & feel like I can't get the right words out to express the way I feel that will allow others to understand what I mean .