Hey, 3:01 am.  Kind of "early" to be writing.  I don’t know how much it has to do with the medication I’m taking (research cited in a behavioral neuroscience text documented that most antidepressants decrease duration and intensity of REM sleep relative to deep sleep; additionally antidepressants are also used as a treatment for narcolepsy…). 

Lot of stuff today, yesterday – I’m not sure what you call it.  Cleaned a whole lotta junk out of my room.  Mostly the stuff was leftover couse directing or reading material and mischalleneous (e.g. trophies from gymnastics) that I’m just not going to use.  I also looked at some papers and journal entries I’d wrote at different times during adolescence and early college years.  It was a blow.  The medication, going on or off of it and the amount taken (I suspect or hope for the long-term since I might want to increase the dosage or altogether try a different medication), affects me.  Writing, even talking, seems more effortless when a) I was younger or b) I am on a higher dose of fluoxetine. 

Of course, one of the papers I wrote in early adolescence I was just like "Shit, what was I on?"  While the details were better, my organization was horrible.  I think my organization is better now, at least for the time being.

You know, your whole life you think ‘Oh, this is why I got anorexia, or that is why.’  I think the truth is, though, that we don’t really know.  We know its a combination of genetics and environment, but beyond that we don’t know.  That doesn’t stop us from trying to explain why, though.  

The problem occurs when our explanations lead us to assume things about why or how we’ve been hurt that just are n’t true.

There is really something in objectivism that strikes me.  It’s that without documenting, without some kind of material to refer to, it is not safe to rely on your beliefs or memory.  I wonder how much of our memories are composed of solely our beliefs?  Possible thesis question?

How the heck would I go about investigating that?  (That’s defintely enough to be saved for another blog post).

Kali