Everything has fallen apart. This year started out good, got a little rocky but was always exciting and looked sooo promising. It peaked when I saw K on July 16, then went down hill from there. Now it's bad. As bad as 2011 was when I was so depressed I literally did not know what to do with myself.
To top it all off FB has a Time Line feature and now I can't hide any of the things I said about K on there any of the songs I dedicated to him when I was drunk. Everyone who sees it could be potentially damaging. My only hope is that no one reads my Time Line. Most of it is silly and boring. A lot of it has pictures of things I look at on eBay or just dumb movie quotes. That I am not worried about. But the rest of it scares me. I didn't go thru it, I can't it's SOOOO painful.So fucking painful I can not even read it myself. I just keep trying to bury the old stuff which is futile now if someone wants to look up a year they can just jump right to it.
But again, really? Who the fuck wants to read MY Time Line? People really only read Time Lines of their good friends. I don't have any good friends. No one is interested. I just hope none of K's friends are on my friend list and I hope none of them read my Time Line looking for things I said about him otherwise I AM DOOMED!
Maybe I should clean out my friends? I have a huge list of them because I used to be in theater and those are the most dangerous people because some of them know K. They are not truly my friends at ALL… So maybe I should delete everyone except for a few ppl. That is all I can do to get rid of them. This is very scary. I don't know what I should do.