Last time I posted on here, I was typing from my house…now I'm typing from my in-law's basement apartment. My husband lost his job in July and since hasn't found any work, so we put the house up for sale and moved into his parents' house. We're in the basement. Granted, we made it look very nice and clean and updated, but still, it's really stressful. His parents are very old and very particular, I have to share the bathroom and kitchen with them, and we have two dogs with us. My dog is big, sick, old, and lunges at everyone who comes into the house, then his mother gets really pissed and I just feel like absolute hell. We're only supposed to be here for 1 year but at the rate things are going as far as my husband finding another job, I'm afraid it may be longer…and I don't know how much longer of this I can take. My OCD is through the roof. When I write e-mails I stare at the computer and it can sometimes take me up to 1 hour to write one e-mail back to my administrator or even a student. Latley I've been so anxious that forming sentances has been a problem. I was talking yo my mother-in-law and couldn't get the words out. I was stuttering! I've began stuttering while talking to people to the point where I have to stop talking, take a breathe and try again. I saw a therapist the other week, but he's not in my insurance…but he does work with me and he't the only therapist I trust at this point. I'm falling behind on all work that has to be done for my own Grad school program and my teaching work. How did this happen!? I'm so riddled with anxiety and sometimes I realize where I am…and I then my heart thuds.
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Before we got married we lived with his parents and it was ok, but i was a stranger his brother didn't like me at first and would just come in and change the television station while i was watching a program. However his mom and i were close until we moved out. Then we were really struggling for groceries with no help i worked at night part time my husband partied it was not good. Then we got a really nice rental both worked his mom moved in with us (marital trouble) and it was very difficult she was very bossy and other issues. I just want to share your not alone, my friends lost two homes and had to live with in laws. Its very stressful to say the least if you have a good guy he will support you through the tough times, I didn't have that so it was very bad for me but I think its taken me this long to realize to value myself. Hang in there, life is always changing its wonderful all you are doing school and work but don't take on too much you have to have boundaries. I hope the therapist helps you through this with the ocd and anxiety.