I feel trapped by the fear of the process of death. I think suicide should not only be legal but it should also be facillitated. Like euthanasia for mental illness aswell as physical. It’s hard to die and that should be appreciated. I’ve been thinking about the different methods and i couldn’t do any of them. That’s the only reason i’m left on planet earth. I don’t think i have much left in me to give because it’s like a part of me has been stolen. Stolen because i was poisoned a few years ago and the sexual part of me shut down. It’s a very important part you. The sexual part of me has been stolen. i feel like an empty body. What else can you do? creative stuff, listen to music etc. It’s not enough. All i am asking for is death, should death be so hard to get? There should be a service that you can pay for to kill you. Probably such a thing existed in the olden days. i lay in bed all day because theres nothing else i can be bothered to do other than feel the pain of lust of wanting to die but not being able to get it. How hard can it be to die? It can’t be that hard? Why can’t i get cancer or something? All my bills need paid and death would just be so convinient. Sleep is all i have.

I have to admit, i hate this new website for making you have 300 words on your blog as well as taking away your personal pages. a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a