well i'm moved to Orlando to go to school the university i wanted to go to for so long. But now i just want to go home. i figured that i should major in public administration sense i'm a very organized, patient, and can multitask. i'd figure that would be a good major for me since the one i wanted was discontinued at the school (damn economy) well anyways i went to my first class today and it was odd i nearly had an anxiety attack cuz i have no idea half the things they are saying and i felt out of place, i didn't think there was gonna be so much politics involve and i suck at politics never interested me. heck i don;'t even watch the news….mostly cuz i feel like there are so many problems in the the world and i don't want to make them mine. i guess i have to much empathy for ppl. so im sitting here at bf sisters house  we staying here till tomo when our apt is ready) crying cuz i miss my mom and everything else back home in miami. now i always tend to do this i want to take a risk and do things but i always second guess myself and then i just want to back off and go back to the way things were. you know i thought i was over this that i was a stronger even better person. but i guess im not im the opposite which sucks ass. now i have been sitting here for about 4 hours trying to figure out what i should do. and all i come up with is go back home but i can't cuz my bf and i are already committed to an apt for a year and we bought stuff for it. i just wish i can take it back and go back home and just hide. i have been hiding i see that now but i doesn't make me want to change i just want to keep on hiding ( if that makes sense) so now im stuck here wondering what to do with my life. i guess i will never change 

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