Holy crap. I\'m ready to scream to put it mildly. I am having to stay the night at my parent’s house because the heat went out at mine.

 

I got here and everything was okay. Then my nephew starts whining because he doesn\'t want to sleep in his room. My step-dad (known here-in as "the jackass") starts bitching about it. Then my niece starts whining that her hands are hot. Of all the things to make up and whine about….This causes the jackass to start bitching even more. Which in turn causes my mom to get upset. Which causes me to get upset.

 

I got my niece calmed down and back in bed. Then I went out to smoke a cigarette and mom is on the back porch crying. I asked her if there was anything I can do to help. All she said was that she wanted to be alone.

 

Let me give you a little bit of background on all of this so you can get an idea of what’s going on. The jackass married my mom when I was 5 or 6; he is a control freak, verbally abusive, general all around asshole. He doesn\'t think before he speaks, etc… Mom is a very introverted person; she keeps to herself and is very sweet. She also gets hurt easy and takes things personally.

 

Growing up I could never do anything right according tothe jackass I was too slow, fat, stupid, and just a"fucking dumb, worthless, stupid girl" in his own words.

 

My nephew has asperser’s, adhd, oppositional defiant disorder and one or two other mental issues. My niece has adhd, oppositional defiant disorder, and a diva complex of some sort. So, both of them can be handfuls and the both require a lot of patience. Plus being in first grade doesn\'t help.

 

The kid’s mom (my sister) was a dead-beat parent to the definition. I am surprise that her picture doesn\'t come up online when looking up the definition. Her lack of responsibility and parenting skills caused cps and the courts to award custody of the kids to my parents. In turn they have since been adopted by them. And if anything happens to mom and the jackass, my husband and I get the kids. Which is fine, I am not going to "turn them to the streets".

 

Every time I try to talk to the jackass about the way he talks to the kids he gets pissed and tells me to "stay the fuck out of it, I know what the fuck I\'m doing" or to "shut your fucking mouth". Then he will tell either kid "you can whine all you want and your aunt can\'t do shit about it" or something along those lines.

 

I try to talk to mom and all she says is that she can\'t wait to get my niece to the new psychiatrist, because there is something wrong with her and that’s the only thing that will help. She also says that she should just get in the car and run away, and so on.

 

So, are you getting an idea of what I have to deal with? Then on top of all of that my husband and I are having our own problems. It is getting to the point where it is too much to handle. I don\'t know what to do anymore. It’s like I get stuck in the middle of things and everyone is coming at me from all directions. Since all this shit started happening tonight my anxiety levels have sky rocketed. I\'m sick to my stomach, shaky, light headed. I feel like crap. And there is nothing that I can really do to stop it.

 

FML, FML, FML. \"\"\"\"

1 Comment
  1. Mo 10 years ago

    Hi,
    I can relate to your situation with how you were raised. I too had a pretty screwed up childhood that included abuse; my name was stupid according to my father. Rather extreme but I made the decisiona few years back to sever communication with my parents – that solution was for me and I rellize that doesnt work for everyone.

    Sounds like the jackass is contuing to dish out the verbal abuse which can feel like a hopeless because you havce no control over other peoples behavior at times.

    My mother never left my father, ispite of the verbal and pyshical abuse (abusae is abuse in my opinion) She went into the victim role from the onset of their marriage. Maybe youer Mom will get into the car and drive away somehow some day. Sounds like another situation leaving you to feel powerless. She, however, is not in denial about your niece and that is great.

    All this is only my perception and opinion based on what you have shared of couse.

    I want you to know you are not alone. I\'ve been there and done that. You are strong to face all this, acknowledge the problems in that hous,e and deal with your emotions abot ias painful and frustrating as they are. As you said; \”there is nothing I can do to stop it\”.AS you now realize by confronting the jackass. You can, hoever take extra special good care of yourself and get out ASAP. I recommend getting a space heater if your power goes out in the future.

    You are an awesome Aunt!

    I\'m also sorry you are having marriage problems. Also been there in the past. There are options tho like marriage counseling or individual therapy for you to help in dealing with all this. There is support to find solutions. I actually went to a marriage counselor by myself because my partner didnt like the idea!
    You can change to address it all. Thats all we can do sometimes to deal; confront the confusion, powerlessness feelings. You dont have to do it alone is what I am trying to say I guess. It\'s great you came here to unload…I\'m sure you will get comments from others who\'ve gone thru it and support from all.

    Like I said, this is all my opinions based on my personal experiences only.

    Please hang in there. You are worth it.

    Sending positve thoughts,

    Mo

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