The last few days are a blur to me. Wednesday was my birthday and most of the day was pretty sad for me. The highlight of the day was when the kids came over and I was handed my 4 month old granddaughter. She just smiled and talked up a storm as we walked around the house and waited for dinner. At one point I had a phone call so I gave her to her dad for a moment. She started crying immediately. When I was done on the phone, I took her back and she stopped. Later when I handed her off to her mom, she cried again. I don’t get to see my grandkids nearly enough, so it’s not like she knows me or anything. But it sure made my day feel special.
Thursday I had a pscyh appt. I am going to stay with the Wellbutrin for another month, but she thinks I should try something else. I have been keeping a calendar with moods, etc and she doesn’t think there’s enough improvement yet. So I am going to research Celexa and Cymbalta, which are the 2 she is suggesting.
I also met with the therapist who is in charge of the Mindfulness Therapy. This is in addtion to the therapist I am seeing. It’s 6 weeks, 1x a week, and there are 13 in the group. I told him I bit apprehensive about the group but he said you can participate as much or as little as you want. The group will focus on meditation, breathing, some yoga, and becoming aware of life as it is taking place. I think this might be a good fit for me since I am trying these things already. Wednesday is the first session and I will let you know how it goes.
Otherwise, I am still breathing, a bit sad and also mad at myself, and hoping things improve again.