So, I had to take care of my friend Maria the other day.  She’s been MIA and clearly in some sort of trouble for a while.  I found her having a meltdown at outpatient.  They would not medicate her at outpatient, because they said she was under the influence of something.  Now, whether it was a prescribed med, or not, she was clearly VERY affected by something, and I understood them making that call. 

She was a mess, and was going to be in some shit, if she didn’t get her ass up out of there, fast, so, I took her home with me.  When we left the clinic, she wandered over to the newspaper dispensers and bought one of EVERY newspaper – Maria doesn’t really read the paper.  Then, she got into some words with some guy (some dude she’s known forever, who happens to work at the pastry counter, at this el stop), and wound up threatening to cut the guy’s throat.  (I doubt that was really necessary, but whatever – she’s my friend.)  He’s yelling for security, and she’s calling him…  a synonym for kitty cat.  So, at this point, I am dragging her up to the el platform, to get her back to my place, to limit the potential damage. 

At my place, she spilled every drink, overflowed my sink, and behaved in the relatively obnoxious manner that highly intoxicated people often do (myself included). Self-absorbed, irritating, and altogether a major imposition…  and, of course, such behavior is always harder to tolerate when your company is three sheets to the wind, and you, yourself, are stone cold sober.  Not much in life is worth that kind of trouble.  But, friends are worth a whole lot more.

Sometimes, you just need to vent.

I eventually told Maria that I wasn’t mad about the money she still owed me, or the constant spills, and whatnot she was continuously making, but rather that she was lying to me, most blatantly, by insisting she wasn’t on something when she so clearly was.  Probably Xanax from the night before – when I snapped about it, the no-benzo story shifted to not-since-last-night, and that could be true if it was Xanax because that sh*t can really stay with you, especially if you are taking recreational doses.  She said it was Ativan, and she has a script for that, but Ativan would not have her all messed up the next day like that (unless she took a whole lot more than directed).  She stayed until sixish, and that’s pretty late for a pre-noon visitor.  It was good to see her, in spite of everything.  She is my friend, and I do love her.  I want to help her.  I want things to be something like the way they were between us, before…  before she started lying to me all the time.  She could tell me anything, and yet she lies to me.  I understand, but it’s still difficult at times.  Anyway, I am just bitching.  I am glad she’s okay, and I am glad I was able to take care of her when she needed me.

Just burned myself with a cigarette (by ACCIDENT), because I am falling asleep, sitting up.  Must prepare for this sleep thing, then crash out.  Goodnight kitty cats.

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