Hey anyone out there. Glad I found this page. I have had a few emotionally draining weeks with natural episodes and my kid starting school and the 10th anniversay of 9/11. I feel a little overwhelmed by everything. I am a single Mom and I guess part of the overwhelmingness of it is that I know that I can't protect my child from everything and she is the main reason I have for living. I have dealt with episodes of depression and feeling suicidal for the longest time. I don't know if it biological or because my expectations in life are too high, but I have tried medication and it didn't work. Anyway my child is the center of my life and what makes me proud is that I can take care of her, although all the recent events has reminded me of my limitations. I also am dealing with my inability to have a relationship and that feeling of failure. I have had a few blows of rejection over the past few months and guys treating me like I was some convenience to them. It has made me re evaluate why is it so hard for me to have a decent relationship with anyone. Maybe I read too many Princess stories as a kid or maybe because of my parents warped relationship. I just don't know how to deal with men, either way I am trying to accept thatImay not ever have a healthy romantic relationship in my lifetime. I am so glad I had a chance to just express this…I guess it really doesn't matter whether or not anyone listens what is most important is feeling that there is a possibility that you will be heard. I don't know how long this blue period will be with me but I hope I can work through it soon. I am at least able to not get all weepy around my kid. I want to be strong for her so she won't feel like she has to be the one taking care of me :).

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