I saw a quote on here just now that another user shared and it basically stated that you need to do things even when you're afraid of them (I apologize for the poor paraphrasing). I cannot stress enough how true this is. When I was released from the hospital after my suicide attempt, I finally made a promise to myself that I was going to start living a completely different life. I told my best friend not to let my say 'no' to invitations to social gatherings/parties/adventures/etc. It was hard at first and she had to force me to get out because I wasn't ready to start saying 'yes'. I was scared, my social anxiety was bad, and I'd convinced myself for decades that I absolutely hated people. Well, I couldn't have been more wrong about that. When I started going out, despite my fears and preconceptions, I ended up having a blast and meeting a lot of amazing people.

When I get seriously depressed, I get the idea in my head that since I don't have any friends and I never leave the house then I must not be a likeable/loveable person. But what this experience taught me is that if I want something or I want my life to be a certain way, I have to go get it myself. Life doesn't bring you happiness on a silver platter and it doesn't just happen if you "wait it out." We need to make happiness for ourselves and I ALWAYS find it in the places that I was afraid to explore. Misery was an easier route because I knew what to expect and I didn't have to do anything to get there.

Now, this isn't to say that it's an easy solution to just start saying "yes" to everyone. I didn't just skip out the door with a drink in my hand, greeting strangers with a smile on my face. I had the help of proper medication and a really good doctor. It's really hard to reconnect with good friends that you left behind in your depression. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but also one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I've learned that I love people, people love me, and that we can't live our lives alone. I still get severely depressed and there are frequently times where I still want to give up on it all, BUT I'm much more equipped to pull myself out of it because of the things I've learned and I do my best to share them with everyone that could use them.

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