I've been a "hand washer" for a couple of years now.  At first it just started as a thing I did because of a problem with germs.  Then it got to a point that I wash my hands all the time even when they weren't dirty.  Now I wash my hands or I don't "feel" right.  I started to really get a grip, no pun intended, on this "problem" after starting some really effective meds.  But recently I have fallen back into my old habits.  I had a great weekend away with my wife, except for my hand washing has gotten terrible.  I went back to work today (Monday) and washed my hands or used hand sanitizer so often that I couldn't even try to guess a number.  I suppose maybe 30?  To put it this way; I got home and washed my hands.  Then I washed them again because of some reason or another.  Then I picked up something off the floor and washed them again, then I grabbed some food out of the fridge and washed them again, then I went to the bathroom and of course washed them and then washed them again when I went past my kitchen sink, and well you get the point.  I probably washed my hands 10 times in the first hour after I walked in the door from work.  I do the same thing at work except its worse because after I wash my hands, then I go to my office and use hand sanitizer to clean my hands from having to open my office door.  ( My office door handle is sort of a public place that about 10 people touch throughout the day. )

I was so bad this weekend that I felt embarassed by my problem.  My wife and I went to the city for a "weekend away".  It was really great for us and our marriage and I really enjoyed it.  But hotels are tough for me.  At one point I used the public hotel bathroom and got stuck in there because I couldn't get myself to open the door to get back out.  I just stood there in front of the door and hoped that someone would open it and I could escape.  I was there for probably 5-10 minutes like that.  Just standing there and trying to figure out a way to open the door without touching the handle.  The place was really clean and all, but bathroom doors are off limits in my book.  I ended up grabbing the "door closer" pnuematic piston thingy on the top of the door and openning it by that.  I'm sure that if anyone saw me, they probably wondered what the hell I was doing, and I'm sure the hotel surveillance camera caught it which gave some security guard a good laugh.

I know that I'm ridiculous with my OCD sometimes, and for the most part I can laugh about it.  But when I catch myself doing crazy things like this, it frustrates me and I can't help but wonder if I'll ever be like I was before this started to take over so much of my life.