To me, it is important that I not only write when something bad happens or when I'm having a rough time but also when I'm in a good mood. When I got into that nasty bit with my old friend at the beginning of the week, it had a profound effect on me. I have been so happy since then. Who would have thought losing a best friend could make you feel so happy? It's what she said to me, all those words, they weren't me, none of them. And by having someone tell me who I'm not in a sense, is making me realize who I am. And since I know who I am what I stand for and who I'm not, that's something special. I was left with more answers then questions with that conversation. And since I know she doesn't know who I am, and has a completely false take on who I am, I am glad to have gotten rid of her. I don't need anyone negative in my life. I beat myself up enough and I won't tolerate it from any outsiders. She cracked too many jokes on my anxiety trying to throw it in my face and tell me what a sorry miserable person I am. What that did. Was make me realize what a shitty person she is and proud of myself for standing up for myself because usually I allow me to be walked on and stepped over. I just feel good. And I really hope this feeling stays a while because it feels good to feel good. I'm not thinking about tomorrow or yesterday for these days of happiness I'm just thinking about right now. And usually that's a really hard task for me. I read everyone's blogs whether I post or not and I hope everyone has an enjoyable day, it's nice to be a part of a community of people who don't pretend to be perfect all the time.

1 Comment
  1. crysrb 5 years ago

    I am so happy for you. It is great and encouraging to hear someone having a good day and that something so great came from someone so bad. I was doing so good and then this week happened. I dont want to give up but it is so hard to keep picking myself back up

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