So yesterday was my birthday… I cried but I guess that's okay. I enjoy crying more than you would think. Cause I don't really cry anymore. So it's kind of a big relief when I do cry. Butmy mother came home with a really bad mood because she went to the divorce laywer yesterday and my step dad was there and they got into a big thing I guess. Then i walked in on mom wrapping my presents… because I thought she called me…. And I felt really really bad… so I went in myroom and cried… Then I played Skyrim..

So mother brought something up to me… So my mother and my step father where getting in a big thing about child support and he needed to pay it and everything. But there was a couple times in the conversation that he brought up the fact that he needed/wanted/i don't know visitations… So she asked me if that's what I wanted? You know to be apart of his life and everything. She said the decision was mine (lolz. for once, the f-ing decision is mine) and I told her… I don't know… Cause I really don't know. I thought that I would be glad when he left because I had wanted him to leave for so long. Although when he did…. something was just missing. Something is still missing… But I just don't know. He is so mean to me whenever we see each other. And a week before he left, he wouldn't even talk to me… I just don't know. A part of me wants to see him…. But a part of me doesn't. I just don't know.

so I called a friend (like my friend that's like a sister to me) and she didn't prove to be much help but that's okay (she said the decision was mine to make and she couldn't tell me what to do… And she's right). I'm going over to her place this weekend and I'm SO EXCITED. It's been a couple of months since we have seen each other!! So I'm excited!!! We are going to probably be talking all weekend and that's okay with me.

So that's it from my life… Everything else is the way I want to to be, normal. That's the way I like it. I will blog on here whenever I can, like I do. Thanks to all that read and commented in advance (cause it might be a while till when I get on here again.)

*Smiles*