I met a friend on discord many years ago. They were toxic even back then. They started drama and did horrible things to many of the people around them. But for whatever reason, I continued to be friends with them.

Last year, I decided that I had enough of their toxicity and horrible behavior. They posted guilt trippy statuses on twitter about me and many other people. That was my breaking point, and that is when I blocked them on all social medias. They made a new twitter account a month after that to comment on a post of mine. They asked me to add them back on discord because they had “changed” (they hadn’t). I simply ignored that and blocked the account. They reached out to a mutual friend of ours and they told him to tell me that I should unblock them so we can be friends again. He just blocked them and moved on.

Everything was fine after that. I didn’t hear from them and thought I had finally gotten rid of them. Over the span of like 2 weeks, they made 5/6 new accounts to harass me. The first time, it was simply a dm asking me to add them back because they had “changed” (again, not true). They basically told me their whole life story after we stopped talking to try and guilt me into talking to them again.

That didn’t work. I just blocked that account, didn’t respond or anything. They were pissed that I did that and made the other accounts to harass me. They said horrible things to me. They said they were a better friend than our mutual friend (the one I mentioned earlier), they said they were going to attempt suicide and it would be all my fault, they told me I was an awful person and they didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t respond to any of these dms and just blocked the accounts. I even went so far to create a new twitter (which they found anyways).

I kept an eye on their account for a while after that. One day, they had a really bad mental breakdown and posted saying they were an abusive person and that no one should be friends with them, etc. I should’ve kept my mouth shut, but instead I took advantage of the situation and posted screenshots of all the awful things they said and did to me. I took advantage of someone who was in a vulnerable state and I feel awful for that, but I also don’t regret calling them out on what they did.

I had been thinking about that recently, about how I took advantage of them, so I fucking apologized. Why did I do that? I dmed them to apologize and they took that as a sign that we were friends again. I should’ve put my foot down and told them no, but I added them back on twitter and discord. It’s eating away at me, I don’t want to be friends with this person. They have treated me horribly and I don’t think they will stop their abusive behavior anytime soon. I feel so stupid. Why did I let them back into my life? It’s not like I can just block them again, I wouldn’t put it past them to harass me again. If they do anything that is guilt trippy or manipulative, I will tell them that I don’t wish to be friends with them. I guess I just have to wait for that to eventually happen. I’ve just dug myself into a deep hole and I don’t know that I’ll get out in time.