Well yesterday me and my husband got into a huge argument. Friday night i had a bad feeling about something, i just didnt know what. Friday nights is my husbands night out with his guy friends. I was sittin on the couch when i heard my husband phone beep. Naturally i look over to check if it was his or mine cause they make the same noise. I saw that a girl named Veronica had text him. In my mind i wondered why she was textin him so late. Anyways i told him his phone beeped and he came and got it and continued to get ready for the night. I started to feel really anxious at this point. I got up and asked him if he was gonna go out to the club after the car show and he said yes. I wondered why when i asked himn earlier why he didnt tell me. He just said he was going to a car show. I assumed Veronica would be going but i didnt ask about her cause i didnt want to make him uspet. Now, Veronica is a lady that works at the YMCA where my daughter attends after school, she is also a childood friend of my husband. I never really had a problem with her until they started trying tohang out on his GUY nights. If he is supposed to hang out with the guys thats what its supposed to be. I wish he would have been honest and beenlike i invite Veronica along. I hate sneakyness and shadyness. Anyways he left, and i tried to relax and think about it, but it kept eating at me so i looked up his phone record and saw that they called each other back and forth that night. I also saw his text messages about them meeting up after the car show to go to the club with his friends. But thats not what really is bothering me. In the text she was like "i need to find something to wear." Then my husband made some German joke to her and she replied " F U". Then my husband asked "is that an offer". I thought that was so imappropriate. Why would he ask something like that? I was so heated, because 2 weeks prior we had a discussion about what is friendly and whats inappropriate cause he was rubbin his private part on someones ass an grabbin people asses. I thought we had an understanding. Now i must tell you that my husband is a jokester. So a lot of things that he does is crazy but that is his personality but some things i think he shouldnt do cause its embarrassing and disrespecful to me. Well the next morning i asked him about it and that turned into a disaster He was so pissed that i looked into his phone info. I understand that i was wrong and i apologized for it but at the same time he needed to realize his fault as well. Like when i asked him about Veronica the next morning he tried to lie about her and the text, then i asked to see his cell phone and as he was putting in the password i saw him delete the text feed. Then lied about doing it. I already knew what the text messages said. Im so angry that im gong through this. I know i was wrong for lookin but he is wrong for having inappropriate conversations with girls and touching them sexually. But he doesnt see that. This isnt the only time i had to deal with this with him. Everything isa freakin joke with him. I want to leave but i dont know how to be ok with that decision. I just wish he would just do the right thing and get his shit together. He does everything shy of sleeping with other women. He thinks as long as he aint sleeping with him he isnt cheating. Im like whatever. The things youare doing are wrong. I hate being married and i hate being in relationships cause guys always finda way to hurt you. Imso sick of the BS. Im a very loving person. I take care of our family and home. I go to school full time. Im not ugly, nor am i fat. I dont feel like i should be treated this way. If you could have only heard the mean and hurtful things he was saying to me. I keep rewinding it over and over in my head. I cant believe that stuff would come out of his mouth after all the things i have done for him. Anyways divorce kept gettin thrown out there. We are in a very weird place righ now. We been going to marriage counseling for about a month and a half weekly. It has been going GREAT until yesterday. now we are back at square one. I feel like this is never going to work cause he doesnt repect me and my feelings. He always does what he wants to do and always has to be the center of attention whether its good or bad. Well im really at a low point right n ow. I havent ate, and i dont sleep well. Im just so lost. How do i become ok with all this. This isnt even half of the crap i go through with him.