I try to keep a good attitude at work but I'm no longer happy there. I keep telling myself to find a job I actually like. Do something I enjoy doing….problem is, I don't know what I enjoy.

I feel 'stuck' at work. My excuse to continue staying there is that my supervisor knows about my status and she's great about letting me have some time off to go to my Drs appointments or to get my blood work done. That's really the only thing I like about her. We work well together but she hold me back. I can't do anything without her approval first and she actually told me to stop helping other co-workers because the Director will think I have to much time on my hands. WTF?!

We have had words in the past. We had an arguement over the phone once where I actually almost quit but the counselor calmed me down before I walked out of the office. I've caught her in several lies and called her out on a couple which, of course, she denied, denied, denied. She will never admit she lied even whenshe's caught in one; much less, apologize for lying. I don't trust her but I'm her assistant so I have to work with her. I have drawn the line between a work relationship and any personal relationship. Anyone who can lie to me to my face, has no place in any part of my life.

She's a charmer.People who first meet her, think she's an absolute wonderful person. She can put up a great front but people don't work with her 5 days a week, 8 hours a day.

So again, why am I still there? Because I don't know what other job to do. I don't know what I enjoy doing plus the thought of having to start all over again….the thought of finding a job that would give me the time off for Drs visits and lab work, seems it would be impossible. This is why I feel 'stuck' at this job. At least I have a job and I'm greatful but lately, I've been desperately trying to keep up a good attitude when all I want to do is leave.

I have submitted several applications in the past but with no responses so I stopped trying. I want a job where I can say, "I love my job. I love what I do." My problem is…I seriously don't know what I love to do.

*sigh* ok, had to get that out of my system.

It's early Saturday morning and I have a Health Fair I have to work today….and yes, I'm working it with my supervisor which means….I'm putting on my happy face and taking a Xanax with me!