I was sick in bed with a serious migraine all day today. I finally managed to take some medicine at 3:30pm (and keep it down), and got up feeling better at 5pm. That means I took my morning meds at 3:30 also…not sure if that will really affect me in any way but it's in my head.
The problem is, lost time is a huge OCD trigger for me. I've gotten better at making my to-do lists manageable (and yes, Brain, I make microtask lists so I get to mark more stuff as done), but I have to be careful because I have a list-making compulsion in response to my time obsession.
Now I've wasted the entire day in bed all because I had that second drink last night. I was always a lightweight but I should have known better because of all this medication. I'm trying to keep calm, but it's really making me depressed and anxious that I lost about seven hours of my day. I had some things I really wanted to do today and now that time is gone.
So I've marked a few things off my list that can wait until tomorrow, and I'm working diligently to get my Saturday responsibilities finished (like laundry) even though I really just want to lay down on the couch or go back to bed.
I just don't know how to recover from this type of time loss…it's one of my biggest obsessions now and I just can't seem to get over it. And as you can see, now I am posting about it instead of working through my to-do list. But at the same time, I have to be willing to take care of myself, and sometimes that means writing it all out.
I know this is all my own fault, so the guilt is not helping. I'm trying so hard not to let all this trigger my depression and anxiety. I don't need that on top of feeling like poop.