I was sick in bed with a serious migraine all day today. I finally managed to take some medicine at 3:30pm (and keep it down), and got up feeling better at 5pm. That means I took my morning meds at 3:30 also…not sure if that will really affect me in any way but it's in my head.

 

 

The problem is, lost time is a huge OCD trigger for me. I've gotten better at making my to-do lists manageable (and yes, Brain, I make microtask lists so I get to mark more stuff as done), but I have to be careful because I have a list-making compulsion in response to my time obsession.

 

 

Now I've wasted the entire day in bed all because I had that second drink last night. I was always a lightweight but I should have known better because of all this medication. I'm trying to keep calm, but it's really making me depressed and anxious that I lost about seven hours of my day. I had some things I really wanted to do today and now that time is gone.

 

 

So I've marked a few things off my list that can wait until tomorrow, and I'm working diligently to get my Saturday responsibilities finished (like laundry) even though I really just want to lay down on the couch or go back to bed.

 

 

I just don't know how to recover from this type of time loss…it's one of my biggest obsessions now and I just can't seem to get over it. And as you can see, now I am posting about it instead of working through my to-do list. But at the same time, I have to be willing to take care of myself, and sometimes that means writing it all out.

 

 

I know this is all my own fault, so the guilt is not helping. I'm trying so hard not to let all this trigger my depression and anxiety. I don't need that on top of feeling like poop.

1 Comment
  1. morella 11 years ago

    You are right, all day Sunday I am anxious and upset over the week to come.  Even though I have all day to go, I am already feeling it.  Most of the things on my list are things I want to do, but in the moment I suddenly don’t want to do them.  I have to force myself to have fun, if that makes sense.

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