We'll be going house-hunting again on the 30th. I'm feeling kind of impatient for this part to be over with. Both DF and I work two jobs and we're both too tired and pressed upon to take a long time looking for THE absolute, most perfect home. Right now, we want something nice to call ours and we want it for a decent price. He was just preapproved for a loan, so I hope the sellers will at least counter-offer us, rather than rejecting our offer altogether.

Talked to my grandma the day after X-mas. Sometimes I really am glad to live so secluded from relatives and sometimes I get so mad because of it. My mom and her mom are morphing into the same crazy thoughtless person.

My grandmother has the nerve to express disapproval over my lifestyle/decisions when she has never been a big enough part of my life to earn the privilage. Sending me a few guilty-grandma checks in the mail doesn't mean mean she's bought the right to put in her two cents when I didn't ask.

I tell her that DF (whom she's only met ONCE in nearly 6 years) and I are looking for a house and she asks when the wedding is. I tell her after we get settled into a house. She asks if I'm still thinking about going back to school for my teaching cert. I tell her I'm hoping to after I find a suitable job (the tests aren't free y'know). She asks if the house will be in both off our names. I tell her the loan will be taken out in DF's name at first and then I'll be added on once the interrest rate is fixed, because of my school loans. She lets out this long, Marge Simpson-esque groan of disapproval and says: "I don't think I like that…but it's your thing, so if you're satisfied with that…"

I really wanted to tell her to screw herself. I knew where she was headed with that, and it really aggrivated me. This isn't some scum-bag I've been shacking up with for a few months. We've been together for 6 years and lived together for 4. She has no right to make assumptions about him.

The guy forks over his hard-earned (and he hasn't got much) money for everything I need and bends over backwards (though not always quietly) to take care of me and be there for me on an emotional level. He's certainly no more perfect than I am, but where the hell is the rest of my family when I'm having a hard time? Yeah, that's right. They're doing their own thing, and I try not to begrudge them that, but I won't have them giving me "advice" about a private life they know absolutely squat about.

So anyway, I talked to the damaging result of my grandmother's lousy parenting skills over the phone later on and was further annoyed. I see my mother about once every three months and she tends to watch TV and have background conversations while I'm trying to talk to her. I told her I'd just talk to her later on–and she was so engrossed in her show that I just hung up.

Later on, my sister informs me that my mom would love to live with each of her kids for a month at a time once she retires in a couple of years.

WTF?!?! Nononononononononono…NO! and…no.

I love my mom. I really do. She's weird, but she's mine. But here's the score. DF and I are very private people, and having a parent living with you–even for a month here and there is TOO MUCH. Also, we're kind of freaks. We like noisy sex in the living room and we like monthly drunken evenings and playing video games and the occassional pack of cigarettes and saying the F-word… We'd have to be on our best behavior in our own home. That's too much to ask for a month. I got tired playing hostess for the three hours my sis and her family dropped by last night.

My brother and his wife, on the other hand, share my mother's religious views and lifestyle. My sister has all the grandkids. They're better suited.

My mother living with me would have to be a last resort–like if she was in need of assisted living and no once else had the room. That's it. A ticket out of the old folks home is the best I can offer. She has to let me have my life, meager and unholsome as it is.

In bed, DF rolled over and said, half-jokingly: "I hope we can have our house for a little while before your mother decides to move in."

Oy…

~X