Hello, so there were times when I really felt like I am going to kill myself and it was awful. I felt empty, I felt like everything and everyone was just against me. This week, I felt okay. I didn't feel empty or depressed or dead at all. But, yes, plot-twist, I started to hurt myself again. I know I can't cut because every friday I have to go to swimming pool but I started to make bruises by hitting myself with my fist and glass jar. I am enjoying the pain and bruises I get from it. The pain is really releasing and bruises are beautiful. I am not doing it because I need to feel alive, but I am doing it, because there is always something I did wrong. And I need to punish myself. For example I started to have feeling towards my ex-partner and I really shouldn't have these feelings so I punish myself for it. It's only my fault. I would love to cut but because of school, I can't. But I swear, when I get out of high school, I will start to cut myself again. I know it's dangerous and I don't even know if I need it, but there are always days when I need it. Nobody would even care if I cut. Nobody cares now. I have no one to care. I started to talk to this girl from Norway and she is really helping me. She is listening to me and I am listening to her. We both have problems. But I still have these guilty feelings. About everything I do. I am okay, but I can't stop hurting myself. I am scared, that when school start again, I will be depressed again. But more hurting myself for me. I like when I am hurting myself. Everyone in my class is talking about me. I know they are. But they are doing me a favor. They are making me hurtmyself. Thank you for that. So, until I will be okay, I will hit myself.
-
You're only as free and you think you are.
revealed65, , Depression, Depression, Grief, Suicide, 0
The funny thing about depression is its ignorance. You are convinced there is nothing left, not even a speckle...
-
First try since the Tribe changed….
wicdavid, , Depression, Depression, Schizophrenia, Sleep Disorders, 1
not sure if I will get this right, but here goes…. I used to post on the blogs on...
-
Normal to WHO?
Ghostgirl, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Relationships, Sex Therapy, Sleep Disorders, 1
Well I wasted an entire day doing nothing but crying, stuffing my face, bickering, pacing, and gaming. Today was...
-
So tired
shelly23279, , Depression, Career, Depression, Relationships, 0
My husband is driving me crazy. He says that all my problems are not real. He accuses me of...
-
On the Cat Planet
Ellowynne, , Depression, Grief, Questions, Sleep Disorders, 0
Hi. My name is Ello andI am an Animal Advocate,voice for the ones who cannot speak. I consistently beat...
-
My Depression Security Policy
Germane, , Depression, Addiction, Depression, Sleep Disorders, 1
I did get up out of bed. I brushed my teeth, I showered and put on clean clothes. I...
-
Worn Out
ConcreteRose, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Child, Depression, 1
All week, I've been feeling anxiety, anger, depression and many other negative feelings more than I usually do. Its...
-
No way i am eatting that liver today
MoonWolfEagle, , Depression, Depression, 3
hi i need to get this lil story of my life out in the open. the drs in the...



















can you try to do other things to have fun and not hurt yourself? You might think you're getting something acomplished by doing this but it really does nothing but make things worse. try to find help sounds like you need it.