I'm feeling really hyper today. It's a good thing, because I'm actually DOING things, instead of being sedentary.
I have classes tommorow, and I'm not looking forward to that. I hate school. Im taking english comp, lit, speech, and math.
I hate english classes, or anyclass that involves reading/writing. Mainly because a) I cant write papers well. I can recite information, but thats it I can never figure out how to word an essay or speech properly. I just don't get the "art" part of writing. and b) I have a really hard time analyzing liturature, because you are putting abstract thought into written words. I cant see the abstractness behnd words, what I read is what's there in my mind, so how can it be more than that?
And speech. OH GOD SPEECH. I hate hate hate it. I mean really, I already said I dont write papers well. It just adds insult to injury when I have to reas my BAD paper to the class. I will talk to my teacher tommorow, and see if we can come to an agreement, because I really can't go infront of class.
Math has gotten really interesting. Now, I have always disliked math. I can't understand anything more complext than a simple find the value of x. But, recently, ive learned that I really like it. I still don't understand it, but math is more "interactive" than other subjects. You are actually sitting there working, trying to solve probelms. WHich I like, because I hate listening to lectures and trying to memorize the information. I wanna DO stuff. I wanna SEE and TOUCH. SO math has noe become more of a like/hate relationship.
But I just hate going to school period. I get paranoid, sweaty, and trembly. I tend to leave ASAP to go home. I really dont like going out unless I go with my mom or my brother.
And I despise homework. Its stupid how I have to SIT STILL at a desk for HOURS a day, and come home and do MORE. Im not an active person, but I hate sitting still working on stuff at home, whch is why Im not leaving campus until I get as much hw done as possible.
Thank god my school has learning labs. They're much smaller than the library, and they have people to help you with specific subjects. I like them mainly because there's few people there, so I can just put my earphones on and do my thing.
Despite being ADHD, I have found listening to music helps with the tediousness of studying, homework, and house hold chores.
I just really freaking hate school. Once I get into my program I will be fine as far as grades, because I will be learning what I will be applying to my career. But academia just sucks.