Hi Everyone. Sorry for being in such a bad mood today, But I have good reason to be. My Mom forced me to get up this Morning (Or Afternoon), even though I was feeling like dog crap, with extreme restlessness and anxiety and OCD. She doesn’t understand how I feel! She literally spent about 20 minutes yelling at my face, telling me things like, “I’m sick of dealing with your bullshit”, “What kind of Psychopathology is going on in your head, that is making you like this”?, and get this: The worst part of all is, She said her blood pressure was rising as she was yelling at Me (Amongst other insults like, “You don’t listen”, and “You are not doing anything to help yourself get better”), And when I asked her if it would be my fault if She had a Heart Attack or a Stroke, She said it would be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! D: Which just made me feel so much worse about myself, and threw a punch to my Self Esteem!
My Parents and I have been arguing almost every day for the past 2 or 3 Years, and They are clearly losing their minds, And Getting burnt out from having to deal with me (MY OCD IS PART OF WHO I AM!). I feel like They don’t accept me for who I am, Just because I am Neurodiverse. If you’re not sure what “Neurodiverse” means, PLEASE look it up. It is SO important to know! I feel guilty all the time, And I feel like I am a horrible person, Which I obviously am when I am sick! In fact, I’m so sure of that, That I know 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000% That I would be a WAY better person if I didn’t have OCD. But that’s another subject that deserves it’s own blog, And I’m not going to get into that now.
Basically, If you haven’t figured it out by now, I am feeling HURT, GUILTY, DISAPPO
Hi Everyone. Sorry for being in such a bad mood today, But I have good reason to be. My Mom forced me to get up this Morning (Or Afternoon), even though I was feeling like dog crap, with extreme restlessness and anxiety and OCD. She doesn’t understand how I feel! She literally spent about 20 minutes yelling at my face, telling me things like, “I’m sick of dealing with your bullshit”, “What kind of Psychopathology is going on in your head, that is making you like this”?, and get this: The worst part of all is, She said her blood pressure was rising as she was yelling at Me (Amongst other insults like, “You don’t listen”, and “You are not doing anything to help yourself get better”), And when I asked her if it would be my fault if She had a Heart Attack or a Stroke, She said it would be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! D: Which just made me feel so much worse about myself, and threw a punch to my Self Esteem!
My Parents and I have been arguing almost every day for the past 2 or 3 Years, and They are clearly losing their minds, And Getting burnt out from having to deal with me (MY OCD IS PART OF WHO I AM!). I feel like They don’t accept me for who I am, Just because I am Neurodiverse. If you’re not sure what “Neurodiverse” means, PLEASE look it up. It is SO important to know! I feel guilty all the time, And I feel like I am a horrible person, Which I obviously am when I am sick! In fact, I’m so sure of that, That I know 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000% That I would be a WAY better person if I didn’t have OCD. But that’s another subject that deserves it’s own blog, And I’m not going to get into that now.
Basically, If you haven’t figured it out by now, I am feeling HURT, GUILTY, DISAPPOINTED IN MY LACK OF PROGRESS, AND ANGRY WITH MY PARENTS AND MY PSYCHIATRIST! My Medications are hardly working at all, And Here I am Spewing off crap that everyone else can choose to, or choose not to read. But I need to vent. I am SO angry!
So, In Conclusion, Basically I am fed up with most people right now, except for my closest friends (Because They actually understand Me!), I feel like there’s a serious lack of empathy and compassion from certain people, for what I’m going through right now, And overall I’m not doing well. I hardly ever complain about help anymore (So as not to be a hypocrite), so if Anyone could help me now, That would be greatly appreciated! THANK YOU! <3
Jennifer, Soon To Be Known As “The Crazy Canuck”.
INTED IN MY LACK OF PROGRESS, AND ANGRY WITH MY PARENTS AND MY PSYCHIATRIST! My Medications are hardly working at all, And Here I am Spewing off crap that everyone else can choose to, or choose not to read. But I need to vent. I am SO angry!
So, In Conclusion, Basically I am fed up with most people right now, except for my closest friends (Because They actually understand Me!), I feel like there’s a serious lack of empathy and compassion from certain people, for what I’m going through right now, And overall I’m not doing well. I hardly ever complain about help anymore (So as not to be a hypocrite), so if Anyone could help me now, That would be greatly appreciated! THANK YOU! <3
Jennifer, Soon To Be Known As “The Crazy Canuck”.