My fire.. My will.. It's gone.
So early in the morning, but I'm already feeling everything crash down on me..
I'm done fighting.. I'm done hoping things will get better..
If there was a chance that they would get better, something would've happened by now..
But six whole months of nothing? You can't tell me that things will ever change..
I don't want to talk anymore because every single time I say something, I get yelled at.. Or argued with.. Or it's just too unimportant for anyone to listen..
I feel empty inside.. I feel like everything is broken.. My mind.. My heart.. My emotions.. My body..
I can't fix any of it.. I was stupid to think I could..
I was never strong enough to tell my parents anything..
I was never strong enough to stand up to my sister..
I was never strong enough to make a change in my own life..
I'm not strong enough to handle this..
I'm not strong enough to tell my friends why I've lost contact..
I'll never be able to accomplish my life goals.. Good thing I noticed now before I wasted my life trying..
I'll always be a failure.. A psycho.. A disappointment.. To everyone and myself..
I've lost my gripon reality.. I've lost my hold on my life.. I've lost my respect for myself.. I've lost the knowledge of how to be normal.. I've lost it all..
I'm clueless.. I'm powerless.. I'm hopeless..
All this suffering has broken everything in me.. No one should have to suffer so long without a single break, or even a hint of things getting better.. It's pure torture..
My future looks dark.. Full of worry, anxiety, disappointment, failure, loneliness.. Nothing but a repeat of the past 6 months, over and over again..
I've prayed.. I've hoped.. I've done so much.. But I get absolutely no relief..
It hurts.. It hurts so much.. To see myself wither away.. To see my smile and the light about me fade.. My personality, once my favorite part of me, it's ruined..
I have nothing to show for my hardships.. Nothing but battlescars, and everlasting bruises..
I've tried so hard.. But I just can't anymore..