Yupp, im tired again.. I Think its bc I stay up so late and then Sleep super late, and that doesnt do good for me or my Mums mood.! I have been sorta miserable Today, just feeling ehh really.. I was tired and down, I dont know why. I mean I do, bc of how I Live my Life, but id why I just got in that mood. I was supposed to go to the Carnival w/ my Friend Erika and I was Looking forward to it, bc We also go to the Flea Market, but I ended up telling Her I Think its supposed to Rain 2Night, can We go 2morrow, but its supposed to actually storm 2morrow. I dont know why I didnt want to go. But I guess its bc sometimes, when Im Feeling extra anxious & I go out, sometimes I See things from the corner of my eye and they aren't there, or I See a garbage can or something up ahead and Think its a person when it's not. Ppl have told me that its normal, but I Think since I have anxiety and am terrified of going crazy, I am on very high alert and tricking myself into it happening.. If that makes sense. Does that happen to anyoe else???? It just freaks me out even though I know anxiety plays tricks on ur mind = /, doesnt really make me feel better, just more anxious and more depressed.!

& then there is my boyfriend, He is a good, sweet guy. He went out & bought a web cam Today bc I asked Him too. I Think He would really do anything for me, but there is like sparks kind of attraction. But I dont want to break up w/ Him, A. Bc I dont want to hurt Him. B. Bc I'm not sure its the right thing to do bc we both Want the same things in the Future. So its really got me confused and really getting to me. Like we really dont even See each other & its bc of me! I dont ever really want to See him & I dont know why!!!!!!!!! Ugh I am just so stressed & its just so dumb I cant make a damn decision!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! & Have no one to really talk to!!!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3