Today is complete shite!

I woke up today very groggy and thinking it was saturday, talk about a slap in the face that its only THURSDAY and i have to be at work. Then Mason (the terror) decides hes going to be a pompus prick. I know hes only pushing 5 months old but he is so annoying and naughty in the mornings. Always causing mischief. BTW Mason is a dog…not a kid. Then Im about ready to leave for work which i'm already by this point running late for and I can't find my purse. Talk about going from annoyed and grumpy to panicked and freaking out. I find it, out in the garage 5-10 mins late. WTF was it doing out there?! I'm a braindead idiot sometimes! So now that i'm in a highly anxious state i get to drive to work. O joy! the roads are packed and ppl are cutting eachother off anychance they get. I finally arrive and I'm none to happy. I get in to work and find that I forgot (must be) to put the phones on the answering service last night. Go me!! I'm on a f'ing roll! So i appologize and try to move about the day … I then get an email that I've forgotten to pay my phone bill. I then go to my bank acct and see that ive got barely enough to cover it. I do get paid tomorrow but because I normally have a reserve incase of emergencies or what not come up I'm covered. Well thats a pisser! I am now settled that today is just going to be a shithole day and Im not really going to change that. Im on the verge of crying and I want to go home so badly! I want to tell them i'm sick and i feel like i'm going to vomit (which is partially true just not from any flu or cold). I'm angry that ive fallen back to this. I've been doing so well…I am upset that I'm anxious and upset that I seem to not have control right now. I'm trying to keep taking deep and meaningful breaths, im trying to say it will be okay and it doesnt seem to soothe the burning and crushing feeling in side me. I hate Money! I hate Anxiety! I hate Drivers & Traffic! I hate feeling so out of control! I hate feeling like ive gotta live pay check to pay check! I hate that all my bills attack at the same time of the month leaving me to juggle! I hate myself and what I let myself become when in this state! I hate that no one understands me here at work and that i've gotta just keep PUSHING! I hate that there is no absolute cure or fix all to how I feel! I hate that its still HOT outside! I hate that there are only 24 hrs in a day! I hate that I can't get up and walk out of this job and hide until it all passes!

5 Comments
  1. Ilovecatz2003 12 years ago

    oh jade.:(

    i'm sorry you're sad and having a rough day:(

    hopefully it will get better soon. just think tomorrow is TGIF:)

    HUGS!!!!!

    ~Lizzy

     

    |
    0 kudos
  2. lamy 12 years ago

    Sorry to hear you had a bad day, Ifind if  the start of the day is rushed it just goes downhill from there on ,hope you have a better day today .TAKE CARE

    |
    0 kudos
  3. thelifeofjade 12 years ago

    I dont want to live my life saying …"AT LEAST"…I just want to be able to get thru this crap w/o breaking down. Anyone can put an AT LEAST in their variable situation, its the ppl that don't have to do that that I envy.

    |
    0 kudos
  4. Junlew 12 years ago

    Sorry to hear you had a bad start to your day.  I hope your day gets better and even better tomorrow.   Take care

    |
    0 kudos
  5. Wiswell 12 years ago

    I'm very sorry to hear about your day Jade. Things are bound to get better! You are a strong person. I hope you feel better soon!  🙂

    |
    0 kudos

Leave a reply

© 2020 WebTribes Inc. | find your tribe

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account