I’ve been up all night either panicking, crying, or doing both at the same time. I’m currently panicking and crying even though it’s 7:20am and I have class at 10:00am.

I tried to go to sleep about an hour ago but I kept freaking out. I couldn’t help thinking this guy would randomly appear somewhere. And you know what’s really sad? I wrote something else entirely better detailing my fear but then I got scared that he might find it and use it to locate me so I deleted it. 🙁

Right now though, I’m freezing cold because I haven’t gotten up yet to turn on the heat. My knees are hurting because I’ve been sitting with them bent for hours. My wrists are burning because I’ve been typing for hours. And I’m having anxiety attacks back to back to back because I’m afraid that he really will sue me and that I really will be in big trouble for having said what I did. 🙁

Between this and what happened to my boyfriend, I’m just so fed up with the internet. Some people are truly horrible, horrible monsters and I’m tired of suffering because of them. He provoked such a response and he knows it as well as I do. And now I’m scared…and he probably knows that, too. That was most likely the point but that doesn’t necessarily mean that was the only reason he said what he did.

But given his actions and hostility and hatred of women, I don’t think I have much of a reason to doubt what I said. He wrote a post defending Chris Brown, a known abuser, while condemning Rihanna and going on to say that women only earn about 30% of what they have and spend 85%. "The men make it, the women take it."  How can I not think he’s an abuser?

I wish my boyfriend were here. ;_; I wish someone would answer me. ;_;