You know… when people tell me that I've changed, it angers me. It angers me because it confuses me. I hate being confused.


Okay, so I'm not bubbly and "OMG LYK HAI!" all of the time like I was when I was ten years old. I've matured. I talk to people that are like that all of the time, and it annoys me.


My mother tells me that I've changed, my accquaintances tell me that I've changed. My mother knows me of course, she gave birth to me. But these accquaintances that claim to be my 'friends'? They know nothing about me. So how are they going to tell me how I've changed?


  "Chantel, you've changed."

  "I miss the old Chantel."


There *is* no 'old' Chantel, because I'm still the same.


They tell me I've changed, and don't have a valid reason to provide me when I ask them how. Which means that they just needed something to say, or they're downright retarded. I'm going with the latter.


A few months ago, I started talking to people I used to go to elementary school with.


  "Wow, Chantel… you've changed."


How in the hell would you know? I have seen you in three or four freaking years! Until you saw me, my name hadn't crossed your thoughts. So who the hell are you to say that I've changed?


I've developed mentally. I know more about the dangers in the world. I've developed more emotionally. My attitude? Well my attitude is the same. Cross me the wrong way, we have a problem. I've never been one to try and intimidate anyone. I've minded my business and left everyone alone.


  "Chantel, why are you so anti-social?"


For your own safety, kiddos.


I have murderous thoughts. I'm suicidal. I'm depressed. I snap in about point two seconds.  Of course, they don't know that. If they did, they wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole. I've been this way since I was nine, okay? Well… not suicidal. But depressed. Leave me be, we won't have a problem.


Stop confusing me, world. I don't appreciate it. I haven't changed. I've matured.


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