I have no idea what to do! One of my friends called me and asked me if i wanted to go and work at this pizza place that i worked at a couple months ago as a delivery driver.
I have a lot of debt and know that i will have to eventually file bankruptcy. there are a few things that i dont want to lose. those are my car, four wheeeler, and my cell phone. if i lose my cell phone, the internet is gone because i have a wireless card through my cell company. that means no more anxietytribe, myspace, facebook and the ability to look anything up at anytime i want.
ok, so if i work at the pizza place, i lose the free help that i am getting for my anxiety and my panic attacks. i will have to start paying for those and i dont know how much that will be. i will be able to hopefully catch up on the payments of my car and four wheeler. and i will be able to keep the cell phone and internet service going.
If i dont work there, i will keep getting the free help with the psychologist and psychiatrist. i will lose my cell phone and internet, i cant even imagine not having those. i love being able to get on here. i will lose my car and my four wheeler.
No matter what i do, bankruptcy is in my near future. but, what is more important, keeping my car, four wheeler, internet and cell phone and having to pay for the psychologists or getting the free help and losing all of the stuff??
I think im gonna call my therapist tomorrow and see if she even thinks that it is a good idea that i try to go back to some sort of work, or if i am rushing it, i dont even know if i am really able, by my therapist's standards, to go back to work. some days i feel like i can and some days i feel like i cant. It feels like i am trapped cuz i have no good way out of this, well, at least that i can see….