I married my husband before I had gotten over my former person.

We moved to a different state and do not have a job here.  It has given me time to ponder on that fact that I never found closure.

It was a unhealthy relationship and I saw red flags 🚩  .  I wish that I would of stayed single longer and processed the ending of the relationship before getting married.

I did love “ him”but he didn’t act in a way that showed the he loved me.  I moved on.   Now, I cry and question if I would of stuck with “him” would marrying him make him start treating me better. Maybe l loved him in both actions and words enough to fix the way he tended to treat me.   I moved on.  He reached out to me.  It was too late.  Too much damage had been done.   I didn’t have any trust that he could be loving and good to me.

I don’t know.  I am tired and have been crying about missing a man who emotionally abused me.  I am not unhappily married but I hate where we moved to and living closer to my husbands relatives.   They are horrible people.   The people in this horrible town are horrible as well.

I could of had decent people related to me by marriage and maybe my love could of fixed the emotional abuse.  I did and still love him    I don’t know why but I do.  I found some work related videos of him online and have been watching them just to see him and hear his voice.

Thanks for listening.